Thursday, July 29, 2010

Sex And The City Paris: Expat Mommy Style

SATC 2000: Remember when our four favorite NYC girlfriends used to get together for brunch and a bitch session at a NYC diner? The convo focused on boyfriends, amour, and fashion.

Fast forward to SATC 2010: picture four expat moms taking the bitch session up a notch: champagne and lunch at the Crillon Hotel. The convo hasn't changed much either: husbands, amour, fashion, and kids.


La Mom, San Francisco Mom, Florida Mom, and Texas Mom decided they were sick of never seeing their husbands who work late and travel all the time. So SF Mom suggested sticking it to them by meeting for lunch at the Crillon Hotel.

SF Mom: Screw the husbands. Champagne's on me. No wait, it's on Marc but he doesn't know it yet and won't until he gets the credit card statement. Then it'll be too late!

La Mom: You are a petite coquine.

FLA Mom: Umm, what's up with Gilles, San Diego Mom's husband? Have you noticed he scratches himself all the time.?

Texas Mom: I know! And since when did he become so American? He wants to shake my hand instead of giving me a kiss on the cheek every time I see him. It's like he's forgotten he's French. Honestly, I'd prefer a kiss over a handshake if you know what I mean...


La Mom: Did you know that Carla Bruni gets free clothes from Antik Batik? I saw her thank you letter framed and displayed in the store on Rue de Turenne in the Marais.

FLA Mom: Isn't it enough that she's polyglot, rich, beautiful and married to the most powerful man in France? On top of that she gets cool clothes from Antik Batik sent to her FOR FREE? C'est injuste that one woman can be that lucky.

La Mom: I have to admit it. I have the biggest mom crush on Carla.


Texas Mom: Speaking of crushes, I've got a crush on Father Romeo at the International Church.

FLA Mom: How cute.

Texas Mom: Seriously, I only go to church for two reasons: 1/ to see Father Romeo and 2/ to drink the delicious Sauternes at communion.

La Mom: Boston Mom told me the same thing - the church wine is great.

Texas Mom: I had a dream last night that I left Christophe for Father Romeo.
(Insert horrified looks on all of our faces)

SF Mom: Now why would you do that?

Texas Mom: Well, why wouldn't I?

SF Mom: Because he makes like 7,000€ a year, that's why!

Texas Mom: That's not a reason.

FLA Mom: Honey, that's the only reason!


La Mom: Big Fry embarrassed the heck out of us last weekend. We were at Scotland Mom's housewarming party and he took one look at the terrine and said it looked like cat food.

SF Mom: Did he say it loudly in English?

La Mom: No. Get this - he said it in French to Big Cheese. But out of all the expats who arrive in Paris not speaking a word of French, he said it within earshot of the one expat who does! Scotland Mom was walking by and told Big Cheese she knew enough French to understand what Big Fry said.

Texas Mom: Incredibly embarrassing, but it could have been worse. Big Fry could have said it to a French hostess and then you would have been blacklisted from the Parisian party scene for the next ten years.

Is lunch at the Crillon over-the-top expensive? La Mom, your BFF in Paris, is here to tell you non. On Tuesdays, lunch at Les Ambassadeurs is only 68€. It doesn't start to get expensive until you order the 12€ bottle of Corsican sparkling water, so La Mom suggests you nix that in favor of good old Parisian tap water. Skip the 12€ coffee, too, and walk to the outdoor café in the Tuileries gardens. Les Ambassadeurs, Hôtel de Crillon, Place de la Concorde, 75008 Paris. Tél. : 01 44 71 16 16. Menu déjeuner à 68 € par personne, hors boissons (du mardi au vendredi).
La Mom was so happy to find out from her Twitter follower @lindseyrcanant that she's quoted in the EasyJet inflight magazine article on macarons. Passport Holders, if you happen to fly EasyJet this summer, can you please pick up a copy of the magazine for La Mom? Compensation will be a box of Pierre Hermé macarons!

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