La Mom - an American mom in Paris

Slang Word Time Warp

2012-01-17T23:27:00.003+01:00

La Mom's noticed lately that a lot of her expat friends seem to be in a slang word time warp. They use slang words or phrases that makes one take note, "WHAT did San Diego Mom just say?"

This slang word time warp thing got La Mom thinking - do slang words learned before moving abroad stay through the years in one's expat life? Does slang stand still over time?

Je pense que oui. It seems to be the case in La Mom's entourage. Here's what I've overheard:

At the expat get-together:
Kansas Mom: Dude, Montana Mom has a groovy poncho.
La Mom: I love it. It looks like it's Missoni.
Kansas Mom: Oh là, I dig it even more knowing it's a Missoni.
Kansas Mom is clearly stuck in a 1970s slang word time warp and probably moved to Paris circa 1975.

Also at the expat get-together:
Texas Mom: Mmm, Quebec Mom made paté for us. I can't wait to eat some.
California Mom: Gag me with a spoon. I hate paté.
Texas Mom: Do you like foie gras?
California Mom: No way, José. Barf me back to the stone age.
Texas Mom to La Mom: Did she really just say, "Barf me back to the Stone Age?"
La Mom: Are you from Southern California? How long have you been in France?
California Mom: How'd you know? Too long.
California Mom = stuck in a 1980s slang word time warp.

At a play date:
Kentucky Mom: I love living in France. I got a subscription filled for my sinus infection and paid nothing for my medication.
Florida Mom: French health care is rad.
La Mom: Did you just say 'rad'?
Kentucky Mom: You did. That's almost as bad as saying 'hella cool'.
Florida Mom = stuck in a 1990s slang word time warp.

At supper club:
La Mom: So do you think it's true Gad Elmaleh is dating Princess Caroline's daughter?
NY Mom: If Paris Match and Point de Vue say it's true, then it must be.
Georgia Mom: Gad is so fine. His eyes are the bomb.

Georgia Mom = stuck in a 1990s slang word time warp.

Jogging at the park:
Texas Mom: I'm so tore up from my trip to London.
La Mom: Then jogging will be good to clear the cobwebs. How was the fashion show?
Texas Mom: Lots of bling bling in the collection.
Texas Mom = stuck in a 2000s slang word time warp.

La Mom's concluded that in order to avoid embarrassing slang word time warps that identify one's age and expat lifetime, it's best to speak in plain old English. No slang, mes amies.

For example:

"That poncho is very nice."
"I don't like foie gras and I think paté is truly disgusting"
"The French health care system is excellent."
"Gad Elmaleh is a very handsome man. He has beautiful eyes."
"I'm so tired and the collection was flashy."

Are you stuck in slang word time warp? La Mom would love to hear from you!

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Valentine's Day is soon. Are you ready to get Sugar Dazed?

The Sugar Daze Valentine gift box is back -- and it's bigger and better than ever! (Tempt your chances and win a gift box. Leave a comment on Sugar Daze's Facebook page with the cupcake in the assortment you can't wait to sink your teeth into! 2 winners will be chosen at random on Sunday, 12 Februray)

The 6 cupcake box (24 euros) includes:

- La Vie en Rose ( a pistachio cupcake with rose buttercream)

- Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (the classic Red Velvet with vanilla bean frosting)

- Lovefool (strawberry and champagne cupcake and buttercream)

- Go All the Way (raspberry swirled cupcake with chocolate buttecream)

- Vanilla Lovers (the name says it all!)

- Mademoiselle Orangette (an orange cupcake with chocolate ganache frosting)

As always, your cupcakes will be dressed in assorted hand-made decorations for Valentine's Day! Available for pick-up only, in the 17th (Courcelles/Wagram) on the 13th or 14th Februray at the following times:

Monday, 13 februray : 13H30 - 16H or 17H-19H

Tuesday, 14 february: 13H30 - 16H or 18H - 20H

Sugar Daze can only make 50 gift boxes this year so hurry up and reserve yours - orders will be taken on a first come first serve basis!

To pre-order, please send an email to:

info@sugardazecupcakes.com noting the number of boxes you would like to order AND the date/time desired for your pick-up.

Merci!

Woteva, Woteverrr, Whatever

2012-01-09T22:31:00.000+01:00

W is for Woteva

Big Cheese and the French Fries learned a new word while on holiday recently: woteva.

<----- They also learned the hand gesture that accompanies this word.

"Woteva" was the word du jour and quite overused during our winter vacation in the sun.

For example...

Big Cheese: Chérie, did you know the French won the men's swimming championship last summer?

La Mom: The French finally won a medal in a manly sport.

Big Cheese: What do you mean? We win the handball championships every year.

La Mom: Wot-ev-a. American girls fantasize about dating basketball stars and English girls fantasize about dating soccer stars. Have you met one French girl who fantasizes about dating a handball player?

Big Cheese: Wot-ev-errrr
(Sidebar: How cute! Big Cheese changed "Woteva" to "Wot-ev-errr" and rolled his "r" like only the French can do.)

*********

La Mom: We're off to the pool, French Fries.

Big Fry: Hey look, there's a crocodile floating in the pool.

Small Fry: C'est bizarre, I thought all of the crocodiles were at Vuitton?

(La Mom & Big Cheese laugh)

Big Fry: Wot-ev-a.

*********

So I guess it was no surprise when Small Fry's French maitresse pulled La Mom aside one week into the new year for a très serious discussion.

Maîtresse: Small Fry is having problems following directions. I told the class it was time to put their paint supplies away and she wouldn't do it. Then she wouldn't sit down to sing. She keeps repeating "wooduhvah". Could this be a word en anglais?

La Mom: Baaa, baaa, non. It doesn't sound like it. I'm not sure what she's saying.

Maîtresse: But there's something more important you need to know. Small Fry is, comment dire, she's having great difficulty holding her pencil properly since school started last week.

La Mom: She seems to be holding it right when she colors at home.

Maîtresse: Non, if she doesn't start holding her pencil properly again, she'll be foutu forever.

(Sidebar: Why are the French so concerned that holding a pencil incorrectly will mess up one's life for-ev-a? I've heard this pencil holding crotte before with Big Fry. Is it really that serious?)

La Mom: Baaa, you mean, she may not advance to kindergarten or university one day because she never learned how to hold her pencil properly?

Maîtresse: Oui, c'est un peu comme ça. I wouldn't say it exactly that way, but she must learn how to hold her pencil correctly maintenant. Her academic future is at stake.

La Mom: Wot-ev-a.

France's Presidential Candidates Wish You a Rockin' 2012!

2012-01-04T14:05:00.002+01:00

If France's presidential election could be decided by who rocks the dance floor the best, who would win: Nicolas Sarkozy or François Hollande?

Leave a comment with your vote.

La Mom votes for Daddy Sarkozy - he knows how to bust a move.

Bonne année !

A Christmas Story

2011-12-21T18:41:00.002+01:00

The Plot
What to give Big Fry's teacher for Christmas?

The Players
La Mom, New Jersey Mom, La Maîtresse

The Email
Dear Parents:

Madame Blanc (Julie's mother), has kindly offered to extend her employee discount at Chanel towards the purchase of a Christmas gift for our children's teacher, La Maîtresse. If you would like to donate for a watch, an envelope is available with the school secretary until December 19th. The children will present the gift to her at the class Christmas party on December 20th.

Merci à tous,
Toronto Mom & New Jersey Mom
Homeroom mothers

(Sidebar:
Thought #1: Back in my primary school days, we gave teachers candles, chocolates, or home-made gifts for Christmas, not luxury watches.
Thought #2: Zut, I had planned on giving La Maîtresse an 8€ tea box.
Thought #3: If La Maîtresse gets a luxe watch for Christmas, what will the homeroom moms want to give her at the end of the school year? )

The tea box

The Courtyard Scene
It's the day before the class Christmas party. New Jersey Mom is chatting with La Mom at the school gates when La Maîtresse interrupts us.

La Maîtresse: Bonjour Madame New Jersey. Are you, by chance, coordinating a group collection for my Christmas gift?

NJ Mom: Why yes, it's taken care of.

La Maîtresse: You mean you bought the gift?

NJ Mom: We've identified the gift. One of the parents is using her employee discount to buy your present.

La Maîtresse: Ah, bon.

NJ Mom: Is something wrong? The gift is from Chanel, so there's nothing to worry about. If you must know, it's a watch.

La Maîtresse: Oh, I have several watches and certainly don't need another one! I was hoping for a Longchamp leather bag.

NJ Mom: Baaa, baaa, baaa.

(Sidebar: New Jersey Mom could not stop baaing like a French sheep she was so taken aback.)

The Christmas Party Scene:
There was no scene.

New Jersey Mom was a no-show because she was so annoyed with La Maîtresse that she decided to boycott the party.

The kids gave La Maîtresse her Chanel watch.

Big Fry gave La Maîtresse the tea box. La Mom wasn't touching this Christmas story with a ten foot pole.
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Joyeuses Fêtes, dear readers. Thank you for your comments, emails, and support in 2011. A bientôt en 2012!

WTF

2011-12-13T22:01:00.001+01:00

Sing it with me -

On the fifth day of Christmas, Amazon France gave to me,

Beaucoup de soucis.

Two orders placed with two different Amazons (France & US), two problems encountered, two very different customer service experiences...

Amazon US customer service exchange:

La Mom : Hi, I’m calling from France because I just realized I sent a package to an incorrect address in Florida. It’s order #123456789.

Amazon US : No problem ! I can help you with that ! Yep, I see here the order came back full circle and is at our warehouse. I can send out a new one today, if you have the new address.

La Mom : Great. The address is blah blah blah blah.

Amazon US : Can I help you with anything else ?

La Mom : No, thank you so much.

Amazon France customer service exchange:

La Mom : Bonjour, a package I ordered has not shown up at it's delivery address. It was sent to my in-law’s home in Aix-en-Provence. Order numéro 123456789.

Amazon France : Are you sure you gave us the right address ? It’s 211 Rue Le Bon ?

La Mom : Oui.

Amazon FR : You’re sure that’s the right address ?

La Mom : Yes. Your site says the package was delivered December 3rd, today is the 10th, and there’s still no package at my in-law’s house.

Amazon FR : Baaa, baaa, have your in-laws checked with the neighbors to see if the package was delivered to them by accident ?

La Mom : No.

Amazon FR : They need to check with their neighbors.

La Mom : Pardonnez-moi? Amazon can’t locate a package full of Christmas presents for my kids, so it’s up to my in-laws to go ask their neighbors if they’ve received it ?

Amazon FR : Oui.

(La Mom visualizes the scene)

La Mom : Are you kidding ? My in-laws are old and one walks with a cane. There’s no way I’m going to tell two 80 year olds they have to check with their neighbors for a box full of presents. They don’t even know all of their neighbors. Franchement.

Amazon FR : The package was delivered. It’s up to them to find it.

La Mom : Do you have someone’s signature indicating the package was received ? Because if you don’t, then it wasn’t. It’s your job to find it.

Amazon FR : Non, pas de signature, but the shipping records indicate the package was delivered.

La Mom : It wasn’t, so you need to ship a new one asap. Please.

Amazon FR : Désolée, c’est impossible.

(Sidebar : Whoa, wait. Wasn’t it France's great emperor Napoléan who coined the proverb,

« Impossible n’est pas français » ? Yeah, right.)

La Mom : I’m a premium customer, doesn’t that count for anything ? Laissez-moi parler avec votre manager, s'il vous plaît.

Amazon FR : Un moment.

*click*

And the line was disconnected.

As one of my favorite ex-pat bloggers, David Lebovitz says, WTF.

WTF = Welcome To France

Ho Ho No

2011-12-03T14:01:00.000+01:00

Charlie Brown Christmas tree

So La Mom finally did it. After exactly 10 Noëls together, I convinced Big Cheese to buy a ridiculously expensive faux Christmas tree.

Pourquoi, you may ask?

Well, Parisian Christmas trees are puny. I mean, really underdeveloped. But like a lot of things in this city, vastly overpriced. Somehow I just wanted a big, perfectly symmetrical tree that wouldn’t sag when Big Fry put the gold glass Galeries Lafayette pointy topper that all French trees seem to have on it.

Seems like a lot of other Americans are thinking like La Mom.

The Scene: Expensive Parisian garden store

The Players: La Mom, Big Cheese, and Random American Guy

The Convo:

Random American Guy: Hey, are you guys American?

(Big Cheese shoots a withering glance at La Mom)

La Mom: Yeah…

RAG: Great! Is this the best place to buy a tree? I mean, these things are pretty small. My wife loves Christmas and she would kill me if I bring home a Charlie Brown tree.

(Addressing Big Cheese) You know Charlie Brown?

(The withering glances are flying all over the place, but this doesn’t stop RAG)

La Mom: Well, you might want to wait until a few weekends from now when there will be a better selection. Or go faux. (Gesturing to boxed Tree of Perfection)

I will not bore you, dear readers, with the rest of the conversation. RAG clearly needed to talk. Here’s a synopsis:

He’s a trailing spouse (“Yeah, I’m doin’ the Mr. La Mom thing…”)
They exchanged a 1300 square foot apartment in the 16^th for four-bedroom 2000 square foot digs in the 17^th for his one-kid family “because they were used to space” (insert withering glance here)
He and his wife had timeshares at Disneyland Paris “because they blow real snow on Main Street every day in December!” (Big Cheese’s glances were not shutting RAG up so he abandoned me to inspect the orchid display)
Barrage of questions: Where did I get Thanksgiving turkeys? Did you know you could get Netflix over here? Where did I get eggnog?

Hold on.

La Mom broke out of the nod-and-smile routine for a millisecond.

La Mom: Why don’t you go on epicurious.com for an eggnog recipe? I make most of my American stuff from scratch. It’s really easy.

RAG: But it wouldn’t be the same.

And then I got it. Random American Guy would rather drink a merdique pasteurized eggnog straight out of the carton. Because otherwise, it wouldn’t be the same.

Huh. Looking at the boxed Tree of Perfection, I thought RAG might have a point.

A Charlie Brown tree delivery at the flower market

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Great deals on kids and baby shoes and accessories!

Kidshop advent calendar- one item -50% per day until December 24th.

Merry Christmas from kidshop !

Joyeux Thanksgiving Secrets

2011-11-23T23:10:00.003+01:00

This time last year, Les Moms Stephanie & Allison were celebrating Thanksgiving on French TV.

Parlez-vous pumpkin pie crust?

Click here to view the video

Following our six minutes of fame, we received several emails that we never got around to answering - until now. Here are some of our TV secrets revealed one year later...

From Stacey in San Francisco:
How did you get the French Fries to dance the Turkey Trot?
Bribes.
Two weeks of song and dance practice.
A trip to Toys 'R Us.
More bribes.
In fact, Clemence, the M6 journalist, held brand-new toys still in their packaging behind Franck the cameraman as incentive for the French Fries to dance. Très evil.

From Ali in Chicago:
How come you weren't filmed making sweet potato purée?
Good eye! Since we were filmed gushing over the sweet potatoes at The Real McCoy, you probably assumed we bought some and made it ourselves. Pas vrai. What you saw us eating was actually purée de patate douce...from Picard and cooked in the microwave.

From Juliette in Lille:
Can you send me the list of items you bought at the American store, items for a traditional Thanksgiving dinner?
Watch the video and look at the list again. Closely. The list was actually a list of things to *pretend* to buy. In fact, "pretend to buy" and "buy" was written on the paper La Mom Stephanie was holding (I had no idea the cameraman zoomed in on my list). We pretended to buy things like the sweet potatoes, pie crust, and Jiffy cornbread muffin mix because we had most of the meal already prepared by then.

From Francois in Rennes:
Did your French guests really like Thanksgiving dinner or did they just pretend to for the cameras?
Sais pas. It took a très long time to film the dinner scene so it was cold by the time we actually started eating it.

From Isabelle in Paris:
The turkey cupcakes were so cute. Can you send me the recipe?
Here's a petit secret...one of Les Moms can't bake. There's was no way La Mom Stephanie could whip up cute cupcakes like that, so she needed help. Her friend, Cat of Sugar Daze, was the obvious choice as she's THE source for the most delicious, fresh-baked, American-style cupcakes in Paris. Cat provided the turkey cupcakes knowing they were for a TV show, but not knowing that her friends were the bloggers behind La Mom. She found out when we posted the Thanksgiving video, along with her cupcakes, on the blog. Surprise!
P.S. - You'll have to ask Cat for the secret recipe.

From Jennifer in Miami:
Why did you decide to reveal your real identities by posting the TV show on your blog?
What better way to do it after more than two years of anonymous blogging? The journalist contacted us because she was a fan of the blog. It seemed like the right (and fun) thing to do!

For more secrets, read on...

Behind The Scenes - originally posted November 27, 2010

Ready, set, action!

Les Moms were beaucoup thrilled to appear on French TV! But while shopping for potiron and turkey trimmings may have looked like a walk in the Parc Monceau, Les Moms learned that there’s a lot of work behind the scenes.

It took about 12 hours of filming to get our little 6-minute segment. Luckily, la belle journaliste Clémence and hilarious cameraman Franck made it a Thanksgiving we’ll never forget.

Merci l’equipe!

Here’s what went down:

Take One: Squash – Fascinating!

Clémence: Now you should select some gourdes for your table setting. Zey are very belle, non?

(Stephanie and Allison chat animatedly while choosing miniature squash.)

Franck: Très bien! Now let’s do eet again.

One hour later…

Franck: Très bien! One more take.

Stephanie: Stick your neck out! Your double chin is showing.

Allison: Merde. Thanks. You need to get a little more excited about the damn squash.

Stephanie (letting loose): Oh, mon dieu! C’est tellement chou ce petit pumpkin!!!

Allison : Now that’s good TV.

La Mom Allison making pumpkin pie.

Take Two: No Naked Turkeys

Clémence: Now Stéphanie can take all of the plats to the table. Ze turkey ees zee star.

Allison: Wait, we can’t do this. The turkey is just on a serving platter. I can’t serve a naked turkey on French national TV!

Stephanie: Huh?

Allison: You know, it has to have some parsley or something on it. What do you have?

Stephanie: Some onions? I don’t know, lemon slices?

Allison: My belle-mère will die of shame! Hey, why don’t we throw some fresh cranberries on the side?

Clémence: Does your turkey have eets clothes on now? Allez, on filme!

La Mom Stephanie and Franck the cameraman.

Take Three: Fake Some Conversation

Clémence: Alors, now you can have a nice friendly chat entre copines. Zere will be no sound.

Allison: So we can say whatever we want?

Clémence: Oui.

Franck: Je filme!

Stephanie: Can you still see that zit on my chin?

Allison: No, but you need more blush. Do you think that gendarme who sent you love letters back in the day will see the show?

Stephanie: God, I hope not! So what do you think of Franck?

Allison: Definitely cute. He can cook my turkey anytime.

Stephanie: Totally agree. And Clémence is set for a career as a TV presenter for sure.

Clémence: Ca va les filles?

Stephanie & Allison (with big American smiles): Bien sûr!

Dinner with our new French friends from M6 100% Mag.

Joyeux Sanksgeeveeng!
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Dear Readers, how are you celebrating Turkey Day? Leave a comment and let Les Moms know!

His Dinde Is Cooked

2011-11-16T21:07:00.000+01:00

La Mom's 2010 turkey as shown on French TV

Thanksgiving is a very important holiday in La Mom’s household. You know, it’s actually pretty French à la base – cook massive amounts of food, sit around the table for hours, and pass out in a blissed-out gourmet coma.

That’s why Big Cheese has always been a big fan of Thanksgiving. Until La Mom gave him a task other than eat, drink, and be merry.

Big Cheese: Chèrie, I meant to tell you – the butcher who orders the turkeys changed management. They do not order turkeys in advance or cook them.

La Mom: Merde, merde, merde. Where are we going to get a turkey this late in the game?

Big Cheese (with exasperated Gallic puff): Do you really have to order them this far in advance?

La Mom (exploding): What are you talking about? You’re French! You’re supposed to know this stuff! Do you remember the time when the foxes ate all the good turkeys at the turkey farm? Or the time when there was a train strike and turkeys couldn’t be delivered? GET ME A TURKEY!

Big Cheese (alarmed): Bien sûr, mon coeur.

La Mom may not know much about French cuisine, but I know French turkeys. The nerve of that Gaul.
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Can't get to Paris to see the holiday decorations this year? La Mom's got you covered! Visit her Facebook page to see videos & pictures of the Chanel decorated holiday vitrines at Le Printemps. Here's an avant-goût of the pocket-sized Karl Lagerfeld window:

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Imagine a Christmas without any presents.
In France and throughout the world, this is a sad reality which The American Cathedral Love-in-a-Box Paris is trying to change. For 20 years, volunteers of various ages, nationalities and persuasions throughout Paris have joined together to provide holiday presents to children in local homeless shelters, orphanages and community centers. This year Love-boxes will also travel to Strasbourg, Mulhouse and Bulgaria. These children will literally receive one gift this Christmas; it's the gift of hope, fashioned in a shoe box by an anonymous, loving gift giver: YOU! Please click here for more information and to find out how you can help.

Give Her An Inch...

2011-11-06T23:14:00.001+01:00

Photo: Daily Front Row

You know the idiom - Give 'em an inch and they'll take a mile?

In La Mom's case, when you give Paris Mom a centimeter, she takes a kilometer.

It all started with a text exchange:

Paris Mom: U go wees ze French Fries 2 ze parc today?

La Mom: Oui. Around 3:30.

Paris Mom: I meet u at parc avec Guillaume ok? (Insert smiley)

La Mom: Great. C U there.

At le parc, Paris Mom takes her kilometer.

Paris Mom: Bonjour! (Insert French double air kiss). So I peek 'eem up at seex o'clock?

La Mom to self: (She's dropping him off for me to babysit?)

We're going home at 5:30.

Paris Mom: Guillaume, do you want to go 'ome wees Big Fry?

Guillaume: Ouais! Genial!

Paris Mom: Big Fry ees going to take a shower when 'e gets 'ome. You can play in eez room. Or you can take a shower too?

La Mom to self: ?

Paris Mom: So I peek eem up at 7:00?

La Mom to self: How did 5:30 go to 7:00?

La Mom: Baaa, baaa, oui. The French Fries will have dinner then.

Paris Mom: Guillaume, do you want to stay for ze deener?

Guillaume & Big Fry: Trop cool!

Paris Mom: I peek eem up at 7:30. A toute à l'heure!

La Mom to self: Don't I get a 'Merci' at least?
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La Mom is finally on Facebook. Check it out!

Frenchy Friday : 2 Extra Letters Changes Everything

2011-10-28T07:59:00.003+02:00

A La MOM BEST OF - Originally posted 19 October 2010

How do the French celebrate Halloween?

With Jack Off Lanternes.

Quick! Get La Ferme de Gally a native English speaking intern to review their point-of-sales materials. This one's a jewel - and it's already been sent to The Ellen DeGeneres Show, by the way.

Say it with me now, "Oh là là!"

La Mom thought about translating this to the Gally Farm manager. Then I reconsidered as I watched several American families pass by the signs, giggling and pointing.

So fellow Anglophone expats - this will be our little secret, right? Let's let the Frenchies think they have English Halloween vocabulary mastered.

Two extra letters changes everything, doesn't it?

Bonne Fête de Halloween!

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Visiting Paris and need a hotel? Here are four Paris Hotels girls go nuts over:

A hotel’s more than just a place to crash, especially in Paris. Below, are four fun girlie hotels this city has to offer: hotels that are quirky, infamous or sexy – but above all have their own sense of style.

The kind of place you can’t wait to get back to after a day exploring la belle Paris. The kind of place you’ll go nuts over…

The Sex and the City one: Plaza Athenee

Plaza Athenee’s been touched by two sprinkles of PR fairy dust in the past decade. For starters, super-chef Alain Ducasse was drafted in in 2000 to oversee all kitchen operations, so you’re sure to have an amazing meal here – whether you’re stopping in the three Michelin-star restaurant or munching down a breakfast pain au chocolat.

But the biggest deal here is Carrie. Plaza Athenee’s Eiffel Tower Suite featured as Ms. Bradshaw’s Paris abode in the final two episodes of Sex and the City, sealing its fate forever alongside macarons and Louboutins as the ultimate girlie treat in Paris.

The literary one: L’hotel

L’hotel’s most famous for being the place Oscar Wilde died. It makes sense, then, that the hotel’s look and feel today translates into something traditional yet witty and ineffably stylish, rather like the great man himself.

The (after all, rather grim) fact of the playwright’s death isn’t its only USP, though: your room leads off from a beautiful stone spiral staircase, and the imaginatively-named Le Restaurant serves trendy Michelin-starred dishes and even better cocktails.

The quirky one: Hotel du Petit Moulin

An eccentric one, this. If it were a character from Friends, it would be Phoebe – dressed in Christian Lacroix. Design at Hotel du Petit Moulin was overseen by Lacroix, making-over Paris’s oldest boulangerie into an assortment of 17 wildly different rooms.

Colours, textures and patterns clash gleefully on every surface (the walls in rooms 202, 204 and 205 even feature blown-up doodles from Lacroix’s sketch book), bathrooms house kitschy heart-shaped mirrors and tech goodies come in the form of Wi-Fi and flat screens. There’s a private bar (tres exclusive, darling!) but staying in a fashion hotel will probably give you the urge, via osmosis, to shop. No worries: nearby rue Charlot has a wealth of boutiques to choose from.

The budget one: Hotel Taylor

The above options are fabulous, yes, but these levels of fabulosity come with a price-tag. Not so Hotel Taylor, which squeezes beautiful décor and a whole lot of boutiquey charm under far less eye-watering room rates (starting at EUR 86 a night). Furniture is a mix of the curly-footed, antique variety and the clean and minimal, while goodies like flat screen TVs, Wi-Fi and breakfast in bed keep your stay feeling sweet.

You’re located a stiletto’s throw from the vintage alley-shopping and late-night bar-hopping of the Marais, and Canal St. Martin is also close by – perfect for Sunday strolls.

For more information, check out AnyTrip.com, the budget travel specialists. If you want to visit Paris yourself, check out AnyTrip’s selection of cheap hotels in Paris or like them on Facebook.

CinderLaMommaRella

2011-10-17T22:18:00.006+02:00

Once upon a time, there lived La Mom in Paris, who longed for a bit of pampering. Her days were spent taking care of the French Fries, which made her forget about taking care of herself.

She daydreamed about facials and manicures.

Then one day, an invitation arrived from the Parisian Prince of Hair:

Ce soir, La Mom is invited to enjoy a Ladies Night Out

at the Alexandre Zouari Salon

along with 7 stylistes, 5 manicuristes, and 3 esthéticiennes.

Get ready to get belle.

Looks like La Mom has a Fairy Godmother.

And poof! The Fairy Godmother appeared.

"The first thing you need are some wheels," she said, as she converted a discarded cigarette butt laying on the sidewalk into an "elegant" Parisian RATP bus.

(Sidebar: La Mom HATES driving in Paris and avoids it all costs. That's why the Fairy Godmother didn't make a Mini Cooper appear.)

"But my shoes and my bag," said La Mom. "I'm wearing my park shoes and carrying a diaper bag. So not appropriate for a soirée chez Zouari."

"Oh la la!" With a wave of her wand, the Fairy Godmother turned La Mom's flats into heels and her diaper bag into a French leather bag.

"You have until midnight when the spell will be broken, then you'll go back to being La Mom - tired and unkempt," said the Fairy Godmother.

When La Mom arrived at Alexandre Zouari's salon, the Parisian Prince of Hair caught sight of her. "Eh bien, how can I help you become Cinderella?" he said, as he studied my face and touched my hair that was pulled back in a banana clip.

(Sidebar: Excuse me, Cinderella?)

"Assistante!" Monsieur Zouari called, and a glossy 20-something assistant appeared. "Les sourcils! Lighten Madame's eyebrows to give her un regard illumineux," he commanded, loud enough so the ladies in the salon could hear and stare at my brows. Très embarrassing.

With a coupe de champagne in one hand, and a pistachio macaron in the other, La Mom was led to the hair wash/eyebrow lightening station.

(Sidebar: La Mom loves pampering, but eyebrow bleaching stings. Good thing the champagne was flowing à go go - it lessened the pain.)

Once La Mom's hair was washed and eyebrows lightened, the Parisian Prince of Hair did a once over and exclaimed, "Magnifique!" as he led me to his prince-in-waiting, Pascal, for a cut, blowout, and more champagne.

The pampering continued at the manicure and makeup stations.

About three hours, several coupes de champagne, and ten macarons later, the new and improved CinderLaMommaRella appeared. The Parisian Prince of Hair caught sight of her from across the salon, walked over to kiss her freshly manicured hand, then tousled her hair.

Alexandre Zouari strikes a pose with La Mom.

"Puis-je vous prendre en photo, CinderLaMommaRella?"

(Sidebar: Actually, it was CinderLaMommaRella who asked her Prince for a picture. Hey, how many times in my life will I get personally styled by Alexandre Zouari?)

At 11PM, CinderLaMommaRella saw the Eiffel Tower's lights twinkle and realized it was time to bid adieu.

"Zut, alors! I'm having so much fun, but I must get home before I turn back into La Mom. Can't let them see the real moi."

Je parle swag.

Clutching her swag bag, CinderLaMommaRella rushed out of the Zouari salon to catch her elegant Parisian bus before it turned back into a cigarette butt at midnight.

She was happy to come home to her Big Cheese so he could see the new and improved La Mom - lightened eyebrows and all, before the Fairy Godmother's spell was broken and forever lost.

La Fin.

Alexandre Zouari - 1, avenue du Président Wilson 75116 PARIS - tel : 01 47 23 79 00

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Love reading? The SOS Help Book Sale is back!

SOS Help Book Sale

October 23rd

12 pm to 4 pm

Orrick Law Offices

31 avenue Pierre 1er de Serbie, 75016 Paris

Snacking on Macarons

2011-10-07T13:44:00.002+02:00

The story:
A French husband is cheating on his wife.
The wife finds out by accident.
It's just another day in Paris.

Poor Palm Beach Mom. She never imagined that her husband was snacking on pink macarons on the side.

The players:
Paris Dad (age 50)
Palm Beach Mom (age 42)
Dr. Didier (age 45)
La Maîtresse (age 26)

The background:
Paris Dad is recovering in the hospital from a "malaise" suffered while "jogging" in the Bois de Boulogne.

The scene:
The hospital room.
Palm Beach Mom is visiting her husband, Paris Dad. She's holding his hand as he lays in bed eating a macaron.

The dialogue:

(Enter Dr. Didier)

Palm Beach Mom: Would you like a macaron, Docteur?

Dr. Didier: Non, merci. Paris Dad, it looks like you'll have to stop the Viagra. The tests show you're overdosing on it.

Palm Beach Mom: Ah bon? Mon cheri, is this true? What are you using Viagra for? Wait, who are you using it with?

Paris Dad: Baaa, Baaa, Baaa. Voulez-vous un macaron, Docteur?

Who says the French don't snack between meals?

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La Mom is crazy for Fifi Flowers and her French themed paintings.
Check out her colorful masterpieces!

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VIP (Very Interesting Parisian) Interview: Toma Haines

2011-09-30T19:18:00.004+02:00

Toma Clark Haines has quite possibly the coolest job title in the world. She’s Chief Executive Diva of The Antiques Diva® & Co European Tours – working with a team of professional stylistas offering shopping tours in 6 countries – France, Italy, England, Belgium, Holland, Germany and coming soon, Spain.

We’re going to see what puts the tic in the tock for this American expat who spends her time jet-setting around the continent. On any given day you’re as likely to find her in Paris as you are Berlin, Amsterdam, Antwerp, London or Florence… La Mom wants to know, which city she loves best?

Paris, Amsterdam, or Berlin?
Toujours Paris…

Favorite Paris antique haunts?

While Les Puce de Paris is a perennial favorite – and any weekend brocante catches my eye - I love nothing more than sticky beaking around Rive Gauche especially Galerie Epoca on rue de Verneuil in the 7eme.

Favorite Paris craft stores?
Rougier & Ple in the 3^rd arrondisment near the M: Filles du Calvaire perfect for their French craft supplies needed for making des abat jour (lamp shades) and cartonnage – two of my favorite crafting hobbies!

La Mom Tip: The Antiques Diva & Co is famous for their French Flea Market Tours – but did you know they also offer French Fabrics & Frills tours oriented for crafters visiting Paris?

Louis XV or Mid Century Modern?

Both – juxtaposition of styles is what makes antiques come alive.

Favorite Parisian neighborhood?

6eme – St Germain des Pres

Favorite Parisian park?

Parc Monceau

Favorite Parisian museum?

Jacquemart-André Museum

Favorite Parisian restaurant?
You a take the girl out of Oklahoma but you can't take Oklahoma out of the girl. As a rancher's daughter I love nothing pore than a good steak and my favorite place to go in Paris... RestaurantAOC in the 5eme arrondissement.

Pink or blue for Carla & Nicolas?
Pretty in Pink

Favorite French meal?
Calories aside… Pan-fried Foie Gras with a gorgeous chilled Beaume de Venise followed by a Sole Meunière dredged in flour, pan fried in butter and served with brown butter sauce and lemon alongside a generous dollop of mashed potatoes accompanied by a white Burgundy or perhaps to shake things up a bit I might share a bottle of St Emilion Grand Cru with my husband and let this wine carry me into the cheese course. For me, it’s always fromage - never dessert. When the sweet bud bites then it’s destiny that French restos serve a piece of dark chocolate to accompany the end of meal espresso.

Perfect French aperitif?
Kir Royale or simply un coup de champagne

Ladurée or Pierre Hermé?
Ladurée

Espresso, café au lait, or café américain?

Un Noisette – espresso with a shot of cream

Macarons or cupcakes?
Definitely Macarons

Café Costes or the bistro du coin?

Depends upon time of day. In the morning the bisto du coin, but in the evening I’m a Café Costes kind of girl.

Favorite French writers/singer/actor?
Simone de Beauvoir, Édith Piaf and Marcel Marceau

Amélie Poulain or Carrie Bradshaw?
Neither – Julia Child

Favorite part of France?
Loire Valley – love its proximity to Paris and the ability to delve into another time and world in only a couple of short hours

Favorite French language expression?
“avoir un bon fromage” – to have a cushy job
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Continuing the interview theme, check out La Mom Stephanie & Allison's Franco File Friday profile at Lost In Cheeseland. Merci Lindsey for interviewing us!
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Next week chez La Mom: Paris Dad is in the hospital. Find out what got him there and why Palm Beach Mom will be looking for le divorce lawyer. Hint: c'est petit et c'est bleu.

Name Le First Baby!

2011-09-21T15:05:00.001+02:00

Baby Sarkozy - coming soon

She's hip

She's cool

She's ready for a whirl

Not just Carla, but her soon to be baby girl
(or boy, as it's rumored)

Maybe you didn't know it, but France's First Lady is pregnant.

Carla Bruni, 43, is due to give birth to France's First Baby in early October. And La Mom wants to celebrate with you!

You are cordially invited for cocktails, canapés, and free giveaways at Carla's baby shower taking place on La Mom's newly launched Facebook page. Come check out the photo album of gifts for Carla at her very first Facebook baby shower and enter La Mom's giveaway.

To participate in the giveaway, all you need to do is:

1. "Like" La Mom's Facebook page.

2. Name Le First Baby! Leave a comment on La Mom's Facebook page with your baby name suggestion (girl or boy) in any language.

Giveaways -

1 pair of Nick or Carla kid slippers* from Godasses à 5 doigts

Nick & Carla

1 bib 'Un café et l'addition' from the très chic Firmaman maternity boutique

1 subscription to the kid cuisine magazine Lucullus Succulus

1 copy of the book 'ABCs of Parenting in Paris' written by a team of MESSAGE members (Mothers English Speaking Support Group)

Baby shower and giveway will run on La Mom's Facebook page until October 2nd, 2011. Join the party! Winners will be announced on Facebook.

(Sidebar: If you don't have kids or yours are grown, don't let that stop you from joining the party. Enter to win and make somebody happy by re-gifting.)

HuffPo video

*Nick & Carla slippers available in sizes 19 - 24 (Size 18 = 6 months, size 24=24 months). Subject to availability.
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Merci beaucoup to Firmaman, Lucullus Succulus, Godasses à 5 doits, and MESSAGE for your generous donations.

Firmaman, 200 Blvd Pereire 75017

J'adore George

2011-09-12T20:38:00.000+02:00

La Mom broke the news to Big Cheese last night: there's a new Frenchie in my life.

My new man, George, makes me feel oh-so special, in five different ways:

Pampered? Check.

Beautiful? Check.

Refreshed? Check.

Relaxed? Check.

Satisfied? Check.

From this day on, I have a standing date with George every month. His full name?

Hotel George V Spa

The George V Spa is THE place to go to escape from les enfants terribles and experience three hours of mommy maintenance in luxurious, plush, surroundings.

Perceived price = 300€
Real price = 35€

La Mom loves luxury on the cheap, don't you?

Here's all you have to do:

1. Invite a few girlfriends for a fun Saturday afternoon out.

2. Book an eyebrow wax with Joséphine.

3. Shed your city clothes for a fluffy George V bathrobe and slippers.

4. Keep it together as you cross paths with that cute, petite, Australian singer wrapped in a towel.
(Sidebar: George does not like pointing in his spa. Do not point and say, "Oh là là, c'est Kylie!" Discretion is key chez George.)

5. Sweat it out in the sauna.

6. Rinse off with a warm shower. No 'poo needed.
(Sidebar: My man George provides expensive shampoo so you don't have to bring your own.)

7. Slather on Sodashi body lotion.

8. Don't forget that eye wax.

9. Post-wax, take your irritated eyebrows to the relaxation room.

10. Try not to stare when you see a certain French-Canadian singer reading Gala and sipping tea in the relaxation room.
(Sidebar: George does not like you staring at his other girlfriends. Especially when they are vacationing in Paris, taking a break from their grueling Las Vegas concert schedule.)

11. Pour yourself a cup of France's finest tea from Mariage-Frères.

12. Curl up in a plush lounge chair with the latest Elle.

13. Enjoy a cat nap.

14. Fantasize about never going back to reality, le train train quotidien. Metro. Boulot. Dodo.

Don't you want George to be your man too?

Four Seasons Hotel George V Paris Spa: 31, avenue George V 75008 Paris, tel 33 (0) 1 49 52 70 00
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Deep discounts + Free delivery = Rentrée facile
Check out Godasses à 5 doigts for a rich selection of shoes and school supplies for your little ones. There's a big sale on now!

The Interview

2011-09-05T07:31:00.000+02:00

The scene:
Chez La Mom. Paris 75016.

The Players:

La Mom, Big Cheese, and Boston Au Pair girl are sipping espresso and snacking on macarons from Ladurée.

The Story:
La Mom is hiring an au pair. Boston Au Pair is our third, and final, candidate.

Boston Au Pair:
She's in Paris studying to be a chef.

The Interview:
La Mom starts by asking the typical questions:

1. Why did you choose to be an au pair?

2.What are your child care qualifications?

3. What's the most important aspect of an au pair's job?

Then Big Cheese decides it's time to get down to business. You know, time to ask those really important, heavy duty questions that only a French person thinks of. Questions that, depending on one's answer, will make or break the interview.

Big Cheese: So what do you bring to the table that's different from the other applicants?
(Sidebar: Key word here is 'table.' French code for 'let's talk about food.')

Au Pair: My love of French food and pastries. I would really enjoy teaching the French Fries how to make homemade madeleines, financiers, and canalets for their goûter. Homemade is so much better than the store bought stuff (slight nod in the directions of my macarons).

Big Cheese: The French Fries are going to adore baking with you. La Mom can't bake for all the cheese in France.

La Mom to self: Merci chéri.

(Sidebar: Boston Au Pair just scored major points with that answer. Who knows what a canalet is anyway, unless you've visited Bordeaux?)

Big Cheese: So what signifies a quintessential French meal for you?

Au Pair: A steak au poivre, for sure.

Big Cheese looks at me and winks. Then he goes in for the kill.

Big Cheese: Really? So how do you cook a steak au poivre à la francaise?

Au Pair: With crème fraîche.

Big Cheese: Anything else?

La Mom to self: C'mon Boston Au Pair. Show the snobby Frenchman you know your stuff.

Au Pair: And cognac, of course.

Big Cheese: And what about dessert?

Au Pair: My personal favorite is a moelleux au chocolat. The secret to getting a perfect moelleux is to add three eggs to the flour mix one by one. Never all at once. There's absolutely no reason to hurry when cooking.

Oh là là. I think we have a winner.

Big Cheese raises his eye brows, let's loose a typical Gallic shoulder shrug, sticks his chin out in that oh-so Parisian way, and says under his breath to moi, "Pas mal!"

Wow, Boston Au Pair seems perfect.

Wait. Maybe too perfect. If a way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and the way to my children's hearts is with homemade pastries, then La Mom's got some serious competition.

The dilemma:
Help La Mom. Does Boston Au Pair get the job? Is she a threat?
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Speaking of French food, check out Lucullus Succulus for delicious easy-to-make recipes and healthy food tips for kids!

Lucullus Succulus plus que jamais dans son assiette ! Encore plus pédagogique, toujours aussi gourmand, à découvrir ou redécouvrir, le premier magazine de cuisine pour les enfants.

VIP (Very Interesting Parisian) Interview: Elaine Sciolino

2011-08-29T07:33:00.000+02:00

"Never be nude in front of your husband. Otherwise, he won't buy you lunch."

-Arielle Dombasle, French singer & actress

Come to think of it, the last time Big Cheese took me out for a romantic lunch was a très long time ago.

Perhaps La Mom needs to start following Arielle's advice.

Or maybe I should re-read:

La Séduction : How The French Play The Game Of Life

written by Elaine Sciolino.

Elaine Sciolino's publisher sent her book to me for my summer vacation reading. I couldn't put it down. Elaine, the longtime Paris bureau chief of the New York Times, gives an insider's view of how seduction works in all areas of life in France, analyzing its limits as well as it's power. She reveals that seduction is much more than a game to the French: it's the key to understanding la France.

So pour yourself a coupe de champagne, sit down, relax, and let Elaine Sciolino seduce you...

Pink or blue for Carla & Nicolas? Baby Chanel in black and white. If it doesn’t exist, Karl Lagerfeld will create a wardrobe for the Elysée baby.

Favorite French meal: A generous slice of truffle on a buttered piece of crusty bread for breakfast with three-star chef Guy Savoy. (See “The Gastronomic Orgasm” chapter of “La Seduction.”)

Perfect French aperitif: Campari and soda, no ice (I’m Italian).

Ladurée or Pierre Hermé? Neither. Take a class and learn (with a lot of practice) to make scrumptious home-made macarons.

La Maison du Chocolat or Patrick Roger Chocolat? La Maison du Chocolat champagne truffles. But not very often, to keep them special.

Espresso, cafe au lait, or cafe américain? Cafe au lait for breakfast; after that, one of the green teas from Jugetsudo on the rue de Seine.

Evian or Badoit? San Pellegrino. Definitely not Perrier. As I wrote in my book, Perrier’s campy ad campaign years ago with a woman’s hand stroking an eight-ounce Perrier bottle until it exploded came close to pornography. Vulgar, not seductive.

Macarons or cupcakes? Lemon tart.

Vin rouge or vin blanc? Whichever tastes better.

Café Costes or the bistro du coin? Definitely bistro du coin, any coin. In France, as I wrote, conversation can be as important as the meal, and that can happen in just about any corner bistro.

Favorite French writer/singer/actor? The young Jean-Paul Belmondo

Most handsome French man? Will never tell. Seduction means keeping some secrets.

Amelie Poulain or Carrie Bradshaw? Good grief. Neither -- The young Brigitte Bardot. As I write in my book, Bardot is “the woman who has held the status of the most seductive woman in France for more than half a century...Not the Bardot of today, but the Bardot of the past.

Favorite part of France? Ars-en-Ré in summer

Favorite French language expression? “Pas mal,” because it’s a form of second degree and doesn’t really mean “not bad” but can mean “terrific!”

Marais or the Latin Quarter? My new neighborhood around the Place St. Georges and the rue des Martyrs. Very lively, few tourists; all the food merchants know you by name.

Parc Monceau or Jardin de Tuileries? Any park bench in the garden of the Rodin Museum.

Favorite museum in Paris? The Louvre, or more specifically, the area around the statue where Edith Wharton met her lover.

Favorite restaurant in Paris? Bistro Paul Bert

Favorite blogs? Rue89

Le Figaro or Le Monde? Read both, as well as Le Parisien, Liberation, Elle, Marie-Claire, Vogue, Paris-Match, Marianne, L’Express, Le Point, Le Nouvel Observateur.
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La Mom & Big Cheese are hiring an au pair girl to take care of the French Fries. What are the really important, heavy duty interview questions only a French person asks? Stop by later this week to find out what Big Cheese is up to!
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Check out La Mom on Facebook.

You Know You've Left Paris When...

2011-08-22T07:24:00.006+02:00

You know you've left Paris when...
-The French Fries complain after just 24 hours that they haven't had their daily baguette and want some. Tout de suite!

-You realize one of your kids really is French:

Big Fry: J'en ai marre des musées.

La Mom: Please speak English to me. We're visiting a country where everyone speaks English.

Big Fry: It's easier to speak French. I'm French anyway.

La Mom: No you're not. You're half American too, and don't you forget that.

Big Fry: Oh là là! I'm fed up. I don't want to visit another museum and the line is too long. Why don't we just go to the front of the line?

La Mom to self: Oh my, he IS French - cutting in line, complaining.

And you know you're back to Paris when...

-Small Fry broadcasts your personal issues, in French, to everyone in the Eurostar (meaning Parisians):
Small Fry: Eh, la grosse dame, nous sommes bientot arrives?(Hey fat lady, we there yet?)

La Mom: Don't you dare speak to me that way!

Small Fry: You say you're grosse all the time and you need to lose weight and do les entrainements. Pas vrai mommy?

La Mom: Baaa, oui. That's true, but you don't need to tell everyone on the train. Mommy doesn't want everyone knowing she thinks she's getting fat and needs to exercise more.

-You realize the French Fries have been well trained:

La Mom: We're back to Paris. Now that we're home, do you remember what you have to do?

Small Fry: Always be careful where we walk - eviter les crottes.

La Mom: That's my girl.

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La Mom's finally on Facebook. "Like" her for a piece of Paris everyday!

VIP (Very Interesting Parisian) Interview

2011-08-15T07:49:00.004+02:00

How does one start their career in France as a lawyer and end up presenting one of the coolest shows on French TV?

It helps to write five books, win two book awards, and have one book made into a movie. Working on one of the most popular radio shows in France, Europe 1's La Matinale, helps too.

Please get to know the man who was able to pull this career change off, in France no less. Pas mal.

Monsieur Philippe Besson.

(If you're a frequent reader of this blog, you've already met Philippe in a previous post. He's the very French and very handsome host of the TV show Paris Dernière. La Mom was invited to the Paris Dernière Los Angeles TV launch a couple of months ago. Since Philippe's a huge fan of LA, this interview has been expanded to include some of his favorite things in Paris and LA.)

Beverly Hills or Bel Air? Beverly Hills. I killed off one of the main characters in one of my books here because BH is definitely a good place to die. J’y ai fait mourir le personage central d’un de mes romans. Car Beverly Hills est, assurément, un endroit pour mourir.

Favorite LA restaurant? Basix on Santa Monica Boulevard. I recommend the pizza argula prisciutto.

LA Lakers or LA Dodgers? LA Galaxy ! The French are into soccer and then there's David Beckham you know... Nous, Français, sommes très football. Et puis, David Beckham, quand même…

Favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon in LA? Have an ice cream on the terrace of the Yogurt Stop on Santa Monica Blvd or hang out at Venice Beach.Manger une glace sur la terrasse du Yogurt Stop sur Santa Monica Boulevard. Ou filer à Venice Beach.

Favorite LA landmark? The Chateau Marmont.

How many times a week do you spot a celebrity in LA? Every time I grab a coffee at Starbucks next to my place. A chaque fois que je prends un café au Starbucks en bas de chez moi.

The Hollywood Reporter or Variety? Vanity Fair.

Have you ever been to the Vanity Fair Oscars Party and what was it like? Never. Jamais. Hélas.

David Letterman or Jay Leno? Chelsea Lately.

Starbucks or Les Deux Magots? Starbucks without a doubt. The clientele are young, beautiful, and dressed down. Starbucks, sans hésiter. Les gens y sont jeunes, beaux, et habillés léger.

Paris or LA? L.A.

Favorite French writers/singer/actor? Marguerite Duras/Etienne Daho/Catherine Deneuve

Mariages Frères or Ladurée? Ladurée.

Favorite museum in Paris? Orsay.

Favorite restaurant in Paris? Joe Allen, un restaurant américain, rue Pierre Lescot.

Favorite neighborhood in Paris? Montorgueil, the young people hang out in the street, for the restaurants, the carefree feeling. La jeunesse piétonne dans la rue, les restaurants, la nonchalance.

Left Bank or Right Bank? I live in the 14th...J’habite le 14ème…

Favorite blogs? I'm careful about them. I'm terrorized about the comments people leave sometimes. It's borderline hate, isn't it? Je m’en méfie. Je suis terrorisé par les commentaires que les gens

laissent parfois. Ça flirte avec la haine, non ?

Who's hotter - Dominique de Villepin or Nicolas Sarkozy? Dominique de Villepin, of course. At least when you look at him, you have to look up. To look at the other one... DdV,évidemment. Au moins, quand on le regarde, on lève les yeux. Alors que pour regarder l’autre…

Evian or Badoit? San Pellegrino.

Macarons or cupcakes? Croissants.

Espresso or café crème? Americano.

Vin rouge or vin blanc? White, with ice cubes. Blanc, avec des glaçons..

Amelie Poulain or Carrie Bradshaw? Patty Hewes (Glenn Close) dans « Damages »

Paris or Provence? Paris. I can't stand the sound of cicadas. J’ai horreur du bruit des cigales.

Métro, taxi, or Vélib? Métro dans la journée. Taxi après 20h.

Book or Kindle? Book ! The odor and texture of the paper are irreplaceable. L’odeur et la texture du papier, irremplaçable.

Café Costes or the bistro du coin? Bouquet d’Alésia, next to my place where I go to read my morning newspapers. En bas de chez moi. Je vais y lire mes journaux le matin.

iPhone or iPad? The iPhone serves a purpose. What's the iPad useful for except showing off? iPhone, ça sert à quelque chose, l’iPad ? A part se faire remarquer ?

Le Figaro or Le Monde? Le Monde.

Check out Philippe Besson on Paris Dernière every Saturday night at 11:30 PM as he dishes on the hottest places to hang and who to hang with when visiting Paris by night.

===========================

Visiting France with les enfants?

Du nouveau pour nos Kids en visite !

Kidsvisit -le premier site exclusivement consacré aux audioguides pour enfants de 4 à 9 ans. Visite de Notre Dame de Paris, des jardins de Versailles, de la Tour Eiffel, du Mont Saint Michel ...

Kidsvisit propose aux parents, en voyage ou non, de télécharger des audioguides pour emmener leurs enfants faire une visite culturelle en France ...

Découvrez ces audioguides, des histoires originales et adaptées qui vont permettre aux enfants de faire une visite très agréable en France avec Benicio, un petit garçon de leur âge curieux et futur nouvel ami ...

Bonnes Vacances!

2011-07-27T11:31:00.000+02:00

Dear Passport Holders,

Ca y est! La Mom is packing elastic-waist pants to head to the land o' Krispy Kreme for a blog-cation.

Check back in a few weeks for more dish from the most beautiful city on Earth.

In the meantime, feast your eyes on the gardens of Versailles while I'm feasting on Tex-Mex:

By the time you read this, I'll be working my way through a bowl of cheese dip.

Happy summer, tout le monde!

Kisses on both cheeks,

La Mom
An American Mom in Paris

Frenchy Friday + Kasia Dietz Winner!

2011-07-22T08:09:00.002+02:00

Dilemmas, dilemmas...this Frenchy Friday is all about decisions.

Should La Mom get the classic gold ballerinas en bout carré or sexy tango heels?

Classy or sassy? La Mom would especially like to hear from the male contingent!

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Félicitations to Kasia Dietz tote winner Sarah Torrey!

Her winning entry: "A few months ago, my mother was in Paris and looked high and low – back and forth – Rive Gauche and Rive Droite – for a bracelet I had described to her. Hélas, she never found it (and I feel rather terrible for sending her on a wild goose chase). But I remain grateful for her effort, and for that, I think she deserves one of Kasia’s chic Rive Gauche totes! Don’t you?"

Baaa, oui, Sarah, I do. And I hope your maman feels a little bit more Parisienne every time she uses it.

Check back soon for another exclusive La Mom giveaway!

French Treats

2011-07-19T20:59:00.000+02:00

La Mom is headed to the good ole US of A this summer.

And she isn't going empty-handed.

Here's a sampling of the cadeaux that will be snuggling in my suitcase for family and friends:

1) 15 different "flavors" of Le Petit Marseillais shower gel. With scents like apricot & basil and honey & lavender, I can understand why my friends are jonesing for it.

2) Speculoos pâte a tartiner, a.k.a. Crack in a Jar. So what if it's technically Belgian. Our lovely neighbors to the North have licensed their addictive bread spread for OTC use in France. You gotta love it when a product's main ingredient is listed as "cookies".

3) Ladurée scented candles. This is the next best thing to Ladurée macarons. And it will definitely last longer. Midway through the umpteen-hour plane ride with the French Fries, I'll be tempted to give them anything to stop the griping and air sickness, even fancy French pastries.

Which gets me to thinking...

Speculoos spread + two spoons = happy travels.

What would you want La Mom to bring you?

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Rive Droite ou Rive Gauche? One more day to have your say -- and win an exclusive hand-printed Kasia Dietz bag!

Send La Mom an email: lamom.paris@gmail.com. The most creative answer wins!

La Mom Giveaway: Which Side Are You On?

2011-07-12T21:09:00.001+02:00

Rive Droite ou Rive Gauche?

In Paris, the answer says as much about you as your choice of handbag.

So it’s no wonder that ex-New Yorker turned Parisienne Kasia Dietz created a line of totes that eliminates all the guesswork.

Declare your allegiance with one of her signature Rive Droite/Rive Gauche bags, or go the subtle route with her Paris postal code totes.

And don't miss her collection of wearable art made with her mother's signature 70's block prints -- oh so chic for summer whether you're in Paris, France or Versailles, Kentucky.

Tell La Mom which side you're on and why for the chance to win a Rive Droite or Rive Gauche tote! The most creative answer will receive a bag plus the answer published on La Mom's blog.

Send your answer to lamom.paris@gmail.com by July 20th!

Kasia is also extending a special offer to La Mom readers: 30% off the entire collection until July 20th! Be sure to include the code: La Mom Promo on www.kasiadietz.com. Send your selection to orders@kasiadietz.com and she will let you know the discounted price.

Get to know Kasia better in this video by United States of Paris. A gorgeous fashion designer living in Paris? As the French say, pffffft. (Insert Gallic shrug here). Some girls have all the luck.

Bags: www.kasiadietz.com
Blog: www.loveinthecityoflights.com

Facebook: Kasia Dietz

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Milles mercis to EasyJet for choosing La Mom for its Ultimate Paris Travel Blogger List 2011!

Check out the best in Paris blogging in their crème de la crème selection!

Oscar the Grouch

2011-07-04T15:41:00.001+02:00

Photo: wxyz.com

Americans abroad tend to take BHHs (Back-Home Holidays) pretty seriously.

That’s why La Mom found herself at a gorgeous 19^th-century mansion in the suburbs for a Fourth of July bash with all the trimmings.

But in between the baked beans and burgers, a little Old World vs. New World tension was playing out:

La Mom (whispering): Isn’t that Jennifer de Quatrebarbe’s husband? He never comes to these things.

Minnesota Mom (whispering): That’s him. It might be better if he didn’t come. He’s so old-school French that he serves stinky cheese plates and foie gras at American barbecues. How lame.

California Mom (whispering): Old school is right. His family name goes back to the Crusades when some famous ancestor cut off the beards of four infidels to save France. But Oscar’s most famous for being a grouch.

New Jersey Mom: Aw, come on. He can’t be that bad.

(To Oscar) Hey, aren’t you Oscar day Catterbarbs? I’m Jenna, Kate’s mom.

Oscar the Grouch: Eet eez “de Quatrebarbes”. And eet eez important that you know that.

New Jersey Mom: Hell, my name ain’t “Geena Smeeth”, but I roll with it. So should you.

Well, it wouldn’t be the Fourth without some fireworks.

Chaud, chaud, chaud

2011-06-27T11:36:00.000+02:00

Did La Mom read the thermometer right?

It's supposed to be 37°C in Paris today -- a whopping 99°F!
La Mom loves summer and all, but that's a tad bit chaud when there's no air conditioning anywhere in the city.

If you're feeling the heat, check out this viral video from Perrier. With its ~~sex~~ six different mini-movies of Le Club Perrier, the effect is quite, um, refreshing.

What do you think? Does Le Club Perrier make you fizz? La Mom wants to know!

Francofonus Vacancierus

2011-06-20T12:26:00.004+02:00

Photo: Destination 360

Those wily American hunters (and you know who you are) who haven’t booked tickets to Paris might be disappointed that they won’t be stalking the Parisii Putaindemerdus species this summer.

But never fear, my intrepid social scientists, here’s the all-you-need-to-know guide for spotting a Frenchie out of its natural habitat.

Otherwise known as the Francofonus Vacancierus, this species may migrate to North America or other English-speaking habitats in July or August.

How to spot the Francofonus Vacancierus:

Its mahogany tan

Many examples of the Francofonus Vacancierus species exhibit a pale cast to their hides, especially those found in the Paris region, which lacks sun in the winter months.*

However, when out of its natural habitat, this UV-seeking animal tends to turn a deep shade of brown, even between bodily folds. Scientists attribute this to a general disregard of sunscreen and a “competitive tanning” culture.

Practical tip: If you see a thin, deeply tanned woman with perfect coverage between her toes, she may be a Francofonus Vacancierus.

*A subspecies of the Francofonus Vacancierus, the Francofonus Alpinus, can be found sporting a mahogany tan in midwinter due to frequent ski trips.

Staking out its territory

The Francofonus Vacancierus displays a general disregard for rules and regulations in its home terrain. This tendency may become exaggerated during its migratory patterns. Burrowing habits become increasingly prominent, even when signs are posted saying “Do not use towels to reserve beach chairs”.

Practical tip: If you see extremely tanned children and adults draping towels all over prime pool lounge chairs at 10:00 PM so they're ready to go the next day, you may have spotted an entire Francofonus Vacancierus colony.

Rosy plumage

The male of the species, while considering itself “Latin”, and in some cases “macho”, has no problem wearing pink plumage.

Practical tip: If you see an extremely tanned man sporting a pink Nodus button-down shirt with rolled up sleeves, BINGO! You have yourself a typical example of the male Francofonus Vacancierus.

Note: Another subspecies of the Francofonus Vacancierus remains in France during the migratory months. These animals are referred to as the Francofonus Timewarpus, due to their painter’s caps, holey bleached jeans, and rat tail hairdos. They tend to congregate in the Var region of southern France.**

**Swear on my belle-mère-in-law’s grave. La Mom has seen the bizarre painter’s-cap-and-rat-tail revival first-hand in Provence several times. So much for the myth that all French people are born chic and classy.

They all had great tans, though.

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School and regular kid’s activities are nearly over and the French soldes have just begun.

Are you looking for a smart, trendy and fun activity for your kids while you’re shopping in the

Galleries Lafayette area? La Mom, your BFF in Paris, has the solution for you …

A new French cooking class called LES CROCOZORES, dedicated to
well-balanced, tasty and fun recipes for kids, created by great French Chefs!

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A Crocozore cooking class in ENGLISH will take place on Wednesday, June 29 from 11:30 - 1:30
near the Galleries Lafayette for 6 - 12 years olds.

Your kids get to cook a healthy and tasty meal (main course + desert), while you shop, meet your copines for a café crème, run errands...

LES CROCOZORES has an exclusive offer for La Mom blog readers : 48€/child + an

invitation to the next tasting of new Crocozore Recipes (which will take place next October).

Profitez-en ! Sign up at www.lescrocozores.com before Friday, June 24 @ 5 p.m.

Only 12 places are available!