Monday, January 9, 2012

Woteva, Woteverrr, Whatever

W is for Woteva

Big Cheese and the French Fries learned a new word while on holiday recently: woteva.

<-----  They also learned the hand gesture that accompanies this word.

"Woteva" was the word du jour and quite overused during our winter vacation in the sun.


For example...

Big Cheese: Chérie, did you know the French won the men's swimming championship last summer?

La Mom: The French finally won a medal in a manly sport.

Big Cheese: What do you mean? We win the handball championships every year.

La Mom: Wot-ev-a. American girls fantasize about dating basketball stars and English girls fantasize about dating soccer stars. Have you met one French girl who fantasizes about dating a handball player?

Big Cheese: Wot-ev-errrr
(Sidebar: How cute! Big Cheese changed "Woteva" to "Wot-ev-errr" and rolled his "r" like only the French can do.)

*********

La Mom: We're off to the pool, French Fries.

Big Fry: Hey look, there's a crocodile floating in the pool.

Small Fry: C'est bizarre, I thought all of the crocodiles were at Vuitton?

(La Mom & Big Cheese laugh)

Big Fry: Wot-ev-a.

*********

So I guess it was no surprise when Small Fry's French maitresse pulled La Mom aside one week into the new year for a très serious discussion.

Maîtresse: Small Fry is having problems following directions. I told the class it was time to put their paint supplies away and she wouldn't do it. Then she wouldn't sit down to sing. She keeps repeating "wooduhvah". Could this be a word en anglais?

La Mom: Baaa, baaa, non. It doesn't sound like it. I'm not sure what she's saying.

Maîtresse: But there's something more important you need to know. Small Fry is, comment dire, she's having great difficulty holding her pencil properly since school started last week.

La Mom: She seems to be holding it right when she colors at home.

Maîtresse: Non, if she doesn't start holding her pencil properly again, she'll be foutu forever.

(Sidebar: Why are the French so concerned that holding a pencil incorrectly will mess up one's life for-ev-a? I've heard this pencil holding crotte before with Big Fry. Is it really that serious?)

La Mom: Baaa, you mean, she may not advance to kindergarten or university one day because she never learned how to hold her pencil properly?

Maîtresse: Oui, c'est un peu comme ça. I wouldn't say it exactly that way, but she must learn how to hold her pencil correctly maintenant. Her academic future is at stake.

La Mom: Wot-ev-a.
 

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