Thursday, July 5, 2012

Oscar Le Grouch

Americans abroad tend to take BHHs (Back-Home Holidays) pretty seriously. 

That’s why La Mom found herself at a gorgeous 19th-century mansion in the suburbs for a Fourth of July bash with all the trimmings. 

But in between the baked beans and burgers, a little Old World vs. New World tension was playing out:

La Mom (whispering): Isn’t that Jennifer de Quatrebarbe’s husband? He never comes to these things. 

Minnesota Mom (whispering): That’s him. It might be better if he didn’t come. He’s so old-school French that he serves stinky cheese plates and foie gras at American barbecues. How lame.

California Mom (whispering): Old school is right. His family name goes back to the Crusades when some famous ancestor cut off the beards of four infidels to save France. But Oscar’s most famous for being a grouch. 

New Jersey Mom: Aw, come on. He can’t be that bad. 

(To Oscar) Hey, aren’t you Oscar day Catterbarbs? I’m Jenna, Kate’s mom.

 Oscar the Grouch: Eet eez “de Quatrebarbes”. And eet eez important that you know that. 

 New Jersey Mom: Hell, my name ain’t “Geena Smeeth”, but I roll with it. So should you.  

Well, it wouldn’t be the Fourth without some fireworks.

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