
La Mom may have walked away from her Hermès shopping trip with Chicago Dad empty-handed, but she held a secret only the guardians of the orange boxes know.
And I’m here to share it with you.
La Mom: These Kelly bags are splendide.
.
Vendeuse Hermès: Oui, extrêmement beau. They last a lifetime.
La Mom: (to self): For over 15,000 €, they better.
La Mom: Does Hermès provide servicing for the bags? A clean and polish program every few years?
VH: I always tell the new owner of a Kelly that if they rub Nivea body lotion into the bag every six months, it won’t need to be serviced.
La Mom: You mean la crème Nivea that costs 5 € at Monoprix?
(Sidebar : Actually, it costs 4.62€ at my local Monoprix, to be exact.)
VH: You wouldn’t believe how Nivea nourishes leather. Try it on your bag. Vous verrez.
I guess that’s when I drifted off into a luxurious multitasking fantasy:
Un: Rubbing Nivea into my skin after a good soak in the claw-footed tub in my country château.
Deux: Rubbing Nivea into my buttery-soft Hermès Birkin and matching accessories.
The leather drinks the lotion in like a Frenchman drinks wine – slowly.
Trois: Well, I never got to step trois because La Vendeuse interrupted my daydream with another tip.
VH (with condescending smirk): You should also buy Carrefour Market’s 3 € cleansing lait. It will take the scuff marks right off of your shoes. I recommend you try it this evening.
So La Mom got the ultimate cheapo fashion secret.
But it wouldn’t be Paris if I didn’t pay a price.
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