Friday, January 21, 2011

Royally Stupid Moms

How do you know when your playdate is starting to get royally stupid?

When les moms start comparing royal warrants.

La Mom had Paris Mom over for tea while the French Fries and the Paris kids played like nice little French children do: quietly.

In the dining room, things were becoming competitive.

Paris Mom: Sophie-Marie only wears shoes from Shtahrt Ry-eet.

La Mom: Pardon?

Paris Mom: Shtahrt Ry-eet.

La Mom:  (What is she trying to say?) I don't know this brand. Is it French?

Paris Mom: Eet ees Engleesh. Shtahrt Ry-eet.

La Mom: (Bells ringing) Oh, you mean Start Rite! Isn't the brand American?

Paris Mom: No, it's très English. The English Royals wore Shtart Ry-eet when they were young. They're the official children's shoe supplier to La Cour d'Angleterre. Prince William and Kate's kids will be wearing nothing but Shtart Ry-eet.

La Mom: (The English court? Who speaks like this? We live in 2011, not 1711, last time I checked.)

La Mom: Start Rite is so expensive in France. I refuse to pay 90€ for shoes for a three year old.

Paris Mom: Mais non, 90€ is low-priced! I buy Shtart Ry-eet at Six Pieds Trois Puces if I can't get to London.

La Mom: I buy mine in the US. It's beaucoup cheaper.

Paris Mom: I really try to buy mine in London. I love the "official supplier to the English court" logo on the bag.

(Sidebar: Maybe the English court talk is supposed to impress? Well, as the Queen would say, "If oneth wishes to engage in this manner, twoeth can play that game.")

La Mom: The paint in my salle à manger and the drapes in my salon are made by official suppliers to la cour d'angleterre. I prefer to decorate with royal warrants whenever I can.

(Sidebar: *Sniff* Do you smell something funny? "I only decorate with royal warrants," I'm so full of le bullsheeeet. You're probably wondering how I know that my drapes and paint have English royal warrants? I wouldn't, execept for the fact that my drape maker and painter both told me when I was consulting different fabrics and colors. This "English court" talk must be a French thing).

Paris Mom: I only buy Sophie-Marie shoes endorsed by la cour d'angleterre. I want the best for her feet.

La Mom: La cour d'angleterre? All I want is for Small Fry to have fun in la cour de recréation...just not in 90€ shoes. Not yet.

Royalement bête, non? registered & protected

Monday, January 17, 2011

La Mom's Casting Call - Part Deux

Are you ready for your close-up?
There’s something in the air. 

TV viewers are hungry for France. 

And some of you, chèr readers, may be the stars!

A producer of the très popular show “House Hunters International” contacted La Mom, your BFF in Paris, to help find les nouvelles stars of French real estate. 

Are you an English speaker who’s recently purchased property in France? You might be just what House Hunters International is looking for! 

So when do we get to toast your TV success? Champagne’s on me. 

Contact La Mom at for more information. 

Big kisses on both cheeks, 

La Mom
House Hunters International is a half-hour program currently airing on the Home and Garden Television Network (HGTV).  The program is a spin-off of the popular House Hunters and has spent the last several seasons exploring the idiosyncrasies of buying real estate in other countries.   HHI is about a personal journey of discovery and the making of life-long dreams.

The series is designed to de-mystify the international home-buying process by going behind the scenes of a house hunt where buyers and their real estate agents tour 3 homes.  At its core, House Hunters International is a travel show concentrating on the idiosyncrasies of the locales and what makes them special and different.  A great deal of effort will be made to capture rich visuals and to provide sequences where viewers will be exposed to local vistas, traditions, lifestyles and architecture.

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