Saturday, December 3, 2011

Ho Ho No

Charlie Brown Christmas tree

So La Mom finally did it. After exactly 10 Noëls together, I convinced Big Cheese to buy a ridiculously expensive faux Christmas tree.

Pourquoi, you may ask? 

Well, Parisian Christmas trees are puny. I mean, really underdeveloped. But like a lot of things in this city, vastly overpriced. Somehow I just wanted a big, perfectly symmetrical tree that wouldn’t sag when Big Fry put the gold glass Galeries Lafayette pointy topper that all French trees seem to have on it.

Seems like a lot of other Americans are thinking like La Mom.

The Scene: Expensive Parisian garden store

The Players: La Mom, Big Cheese, and Random American Guy

The Convo:

Random American Guy: Hey, are you guys American?
(Big Cheese shoots a withering glance at La Mom)

La Mom: Yeah…

RAG: Great! Is this the best place to buy a tree? I mean, these things are pretty small. My wife loves Christmas and she would kill me if I bring home a Charlie Brown tree. 
(Addressing Big Cheese) You know Charlie Brown?
(The withering glances are flying all over the place, but this doesn’t stop RAG)

La Mom: Well, you might want to wait until a few weekends from now when there will be a better selection. Or go faux. (Gesturing to boxed Tree of Perfection)

I will not bore you, dear readers, with the rest of the conversation. RAG clearly needed to talk. Here’s a synopsis:
  • He’s a trailing spouse (“Yeah, I’m doin’ the Mr. La Mom thing…”)
  • They exchanged a 1300 square foot apartment in the 16th for four-bedroom 2000 square foot digs in the 17th for his one-kid family “because they were used to space” (insert withering glance here)
  • He and his wife had timeshares at Disneyland Paris “because they blow real snow on Main Street every day in December!” (Big Cheese’s glances were not shutting RAG up so he abandoned me to inspect the orchid display)
  • Barrage of questions: Where did I get Thanksgiving turkeys? Did you know you could get Netflix over here? Where did I get eggnog?
Hold on. 

La Mom broke out of the nod-and-smile routine for a millisecond.

La Mom: Why don’t you go on for an eggnog recipe? I make most of my American stuff from scratch. It’s really easy.

RAG: But it wouldn’t be the same.

And then I got it. Random American Guy would rather drink a merdique pasteurized eggnog straight out of the carton. Because otherwise, it wouldn’t be the same.

Huh. Looking at the boxed Tree of Perfection, I thought RAG might have a point.

A Charlie Brown tree delivery at the flower market

Great deals on kids and baby shoes and accessories!

Kidshop advent calendar- one item -50% per day until December 24th. 
Merry Christmas from kidshop !


Bigfish said...

Well, given your attitude toward Random American Guy, it seems you've become completely assimilated ;-)

Loulou in France said...

2000 square feet in the 17th, huh? Le pauvre...

La Mom-an American Mom in Paris said...

@Bigfish - Most definitely :-)

@Loulou - "Le pauvre" was exactly what Big Cheesewas thinking.Thanks for stopping by!

Paris Paul said...

You *can* find decent Christmas trees in Paris. I can even prove it as I'm still making payments on the 7 footer we bought last year.

Sweet Freak said...

How perfect is it that the acronym for Random American Guy is "Rag"?!

vicki archer said...

Why is RAG in Paris... perhaps he got his itinerary wrong?? xv

Viv said...

Poor guy, I remember how finding a random American would light my fire. I have now assimilated in 18 months, wow!

Viv said...

PS Everything I now make from scratch due to lack of a box or a can is soooo much better.

Now for home made egg nog what do you use for heavy creme ? Will it be my token creme friache or crème fouettée ou la chantilly??

Thanks La Mom

La Mom-an American Mom in Paris said...

@Paris Paul - Can you recommend where? The other half of La Mom is considering a faux this year, too.

@Sweet Freak - Didn't think of it until you wrote it! Parfait.

@Vicki Archer - Don't you have RAGs in Provence?

@Viv - Glad you've assimilated - and in such a short time, too. Crème fouetée!

Beadboard UpCountry said...

I agree 2000 square feet in the 17th? Pauvre BEBE!!!!!! At that point I (if I had one available) would have poured a carton of eggnog on him, and ran to see the orchids.....HEHE Maryanne xo

Anonymous said...

I agree LaMom! Everything made from scratch tastes much better, including pancakes and eggnog. I use a recipe that I make for my French friends now and use crème fleurette 30%!

4 cups of milk with some cannelle, clous de giraffle, bring to boil.

12 egg yolks with 1 cup sucre en poudre, mixed.

Temper the egg yolks with the milk, then combine, cook on medium for 4 minutes until thick. Keep stirring or you'll end up with scrambled eggnog. ;)

Add in a bottle of crème fleurette and 2 cups rum, some muscade and cannelle.

Voila! YUM in a bottle. Also leads to YIKES my jeans don't fit. ;)

La Mom-an American Mom in Paris said...

@Maryanne (Beadboard) - You're too funny.

@Anonymous - Yikes for me, too.

Anonymous said...

Looking for housing in Paris?
Entrée Paris is a Service and Relocation company that help expats get settled in the city.
We collaborate with a wide range of apartment owners and can provide housing for all budgets.
We have also been new in this city and know what it is like – get in touch with us for a smooth transmission in to Paris! /


View my page on Mom Bloggers Club