Friday, January 21, 2011

Royally Stupid Moms

How do you know when your playdate is starting to get royally stupid?

When les moms start comparing royal warrants.

La Mom had Paris Mom over for tea while the French Fries and the Paris kids played like nice little French children do: quietly.

In the dining room, things were becoming competitive.

Paris Mom: Sophie-Marie only wears shoes from Shtahrt Ry-eet.

La Mom: Pardon?

Paris Mom: Shtahrt Ry-eet.

La Mom:  (What is she trying to say?) I don't know this brand. Is it French?

Paris Mom: Eet ees Engleesh. Shtahrt Ry-eet.

La Mom: (Bells ringing) Oh, you mean Start Rite! Isn't the brand American?

Paris Mom: No, it's très English. The English Royals wore Shtart Ry-eet when they were young. They're the official children's shoe supplier to La Cour d'Angleterre. Prince William and Kate's kids will be wearing nothing but Shtart Ry-eet.

La Mom: (The English court? Who speaks like this? We live in 2011, not 1711, last time I checked.)

La Mom: Start Rite is so expensive in France. I refuse to pay 90€ for shoes for a three year old.

Paris Mom: Mais non, 90€ is low-priced! I buy Shtart Ry-eet at Six Pieds Trois Puces if I can't get to London.

La Mom: I buy mine in the US. It's beaucoup cheaper.

Paris Mom: I really try to buy mine in London. I love the "official supplier to the English court" logo on the bag.

(Sidebar: Maybe the English court talk is supposed to impress? Well, as the Queen would say, "If oneth wishes to engage in this manner, twoeth can play that game.")

La Mom: The paint in my salle à manger and the drapes in my salon are made by official suppliers to la cour d'angleterre. I prefer to decorate with royal warrants whenever I can.

(Sidebar: *Sniff* Do you smell something funny? "I only decorate with royal warrants," I'm so full of le bullsheeeet. You're probably wondering how I know that my drapes and paint have English royal warrants? I wouldn't, execept for the fact that my drape maker and painter both told me when I was consulting different fabrics and colors. This "English court" talk must be a French thing).

Paris Mom: I only buy Sophie-Marie shoes endorsed by la cour d'angleterre. I want the best for her feet.

La Mom: La cour d'angleterre? All I want is for Small Fry to have fun in la cour de recréation...just not in 90€ shoes. Not yet.

Royalement bête, non? registered & protected


Kimberley said...

I wouldn't be paying 90 euros for my kids shoes anytime soon....some people around here think I'm crazy because I usually pay betweem $50 -$65 for the shoes on my kids feet! Ha!

Anonymous said...

I am laughing out loud at your post. That is so funny! Most people wouldn't know which products have royal warrants and really don't care anyway. It is interesting the she cares so much. Pears Shampoo & Conditioner have the royal warrant so next time I go to the shops I'll be sure to buy some so I can feel a bit more "regal". LOL

Sarah Kenney said...

So tongue-in-cheek!! After having a french student live with us in the US for a year, I can imagine myself in conversations, not like this, but so french vs. our American down-to-earth-ness. Our conversations were mostly about FOOD. Oh la, la.

Kiki said...

fantastic post. i'm with you on Paris Mom's "English court" remark. when listening to reports on the upcoming royal wedding, i chuckle each time a reporter says "courtiers." take care, La Mom.

Karen at French Skinny said...

That was fantastic! I'd never make it in Paris.


sweet european dreams said...

this is hysterical and so very true. I really (really!) wanted one of those FANTASTIC baby strollers while we were living overseas, but the price of 800 euros was total insanity to me.

Elizabeth said...

LOL ... really ... tres amusant!!!! Love your site - it is hysterical :) ... how about lol ... and roflmao?? Peut-etre that is not quite funny en Paris ? But we will keep reading and laughing here !!!

Beadboard UpCountry said...

Whatever happened to sneakers??!!!!Now they have to have the laying on of hands by her majesty the queen? Of England? In France? They'll grow out of em in three months!I say she should get with it and get Converse!!!!Maryanne xo

annie mason aka junky gal said...

I always anxiously await your updates! Too funny! ...Diane

La Mom-an American Mom in Paris said...

Hello Ladies,
Thank you for your wonderful comments and welcome to a few new faces @TheRealHousewife of Sydney, @Kimberley, @Sarah Kenney, @French skinny @Junky Gal ! 90 euros for kiddy shoes is crazy. There's a time and place for everything.

La Mom

Simony said...

Very funny! I don't know if I could interact with people who talk like that. It's ok if they think like that, but as long as they don't share their thoughts in public!
What a journey to be there...

Lynn said...

I did Stride Rite and Buster Brown. I wonder how she will be after the wedding? Still, if she is researching and talking, she might have some great tidbits of information. I have wanted to tell you I stop by and read your blog. My husband and I would like to visit Paris and you make it seem less intimadating. Thank you.

Lady B and Little H said...

Priceless! I love your updates from "the Continent". Very different from being a slummy mummy deprived of any taste of glamour in the Norwegian countryside.

TN said...

We paid 75 euros for a pair...who know the brand for my 18 month year old (my belle mere bought them actually) and they lasted 1.5 weeks! When we get back to Paris next week we are returning them and getting our money back ;-) More money does not equal quality in all cases

La Mom-an American Mom in Paris said...

@Lynn-Don't let the Parisians intimidate you. Paris is wonderful. Thanks to you and your DH for stopping b!
@Lady B-Sounds like an adventure living in the Norwegian countryside. How do you like it (apart from the slummies?)
@TN- Good luck getting a refund from a French boutique. That's an almost impossible thing to achieve :)

Lady B and Little H said...

Living in the country with a 30minute walk to any coffee shop or tempting butique is sure to save you some money. We have been having temperatures down to minus 18 celsius, and since you're not recommended to take a baby (she's 7months) out when it is colder than minus ten, I have been suffering from cabin fever. Luckily I got great blogs like yours and online shopping (plus feeding, change of diapers etc. etc.) to keep me busy ;-)

à la parisienne said...

Am I just misinformed or misled about the French vs. English?
It's so hard to believe that a Parisian would blatantly say that an English shoe is the BEST shoe for a little French puce!


Fifi Flowers said...

This is hilarious! Lovely pissing match... LOL!
Royalement bête OUI!
I would LOVE to do a story about YOU on my blog!
Bonne weekend!

The Bold Soul said...

French women are just so damned competitive, that's what this was about. So she likes "designer labels" (and to me the whole royal warrant thing is just like saying "I only buy Louis Vuitton bags and Jimmy Choo shoes), so what?

La Mom-an American Mom in Paris said...

@LadyB and Little H - Sometimes I wish I lived in the country. Then I could be really American and wear my trainers everyday. Hope it warms up soon. I had cabin fever when Big Fry was born and even though I had a million dollar view of the Eiffel Tower, it didn't help the fever.

@à la parisienne - Excellent point!

@Fifi Flowers - Drop me an email Let's see what we can do!

@TheBoldSoul- Yes,French women are extremely competitive and very jealous creatures. I have so much fun playing with them.

Bon weekend to everyone who reads and comments on my blog. Mwah!

TN said...

@ La Mom - we went yesterday to return the shoes they offered to fix them...haha! OR we could choose another pair same price range. We did find another pair that wouldn't break in a week. I think it is really a manufacture error. Fabric and Velcro don't mix...hence the reason why the fabric frayed and broke. So it turned out well for us. Next time we are going to another Boutique.

La Mom-an American Mom in Paris said...

@TN - I am in shock and delighted for you that the French were helpful. My sales story: after purchasing a picture for Big Fry's room, we unwrapped the bubble wrap to hang up. The top part of the picture was unglued. Took it back to the store and the French saleslady accused us of hanging the picture too close to a radiator. This is France.

TN said...

Here's another positive for me...For Christmas I had my in-laws buy some Cognac for me to give to my husband (I had no idea where to go or how to choose a good one). They bought it and wrapped it etc...Then when my husband opened the box to look at the bottle we noticed it had been opened!!!! My in laws said they would "try" to take it back and get another. They succeeded thank goodness. Could you imagine some store clerk wanted a swig of it in between shifts ;-) I was scared that someone poisoned it haha! Funny how my freaky American mind works sometimes

e is for elephant said...

Oh la la! I laughed so hard reading this!!! When I studied abroad in Angers most of the French kids there had grown up in castles of the Loire valley and they were always just so condescending! I wouldn't be surprised if they bought their goods according to her majesty's inventory...wouldn't be surprised! Et, oui, c'est royalement bete!


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