Tuesday, October 12, 2010

St. Picard

Ahh, October in Paris. The open market stalls are filling up with seasonal produce from the harvest. A little nip in the air makes La Mom long to do some French comfort food home cooking.

In her microwave.

What? You didn’t know that le frozen exists in France? Well, let me fill you in on every Parisienne’s kitchen secret.

Picard. Actually, it's more like St. Picard.

I think there’s a little shrine to St. Picard in St. Sulpice church tucked away in a forgotten corner (yeah, they’re renovating it – but you should find it if you look hard enough). All I know is that thousands of French women get down on their knees every night to thank the patron saint of surgelé.

Urban legend has it that St. Picard was a Parisian city dweller in the 1960s. On a visit to America, he was appalled by the proliferation of frozen TV dinners. Carefully preserved writings of St. Picard quoted him as saying, “C’est de la merde!

Back on his native soil, however, he had a divine vision. A vision of the best French recipes lovingly prepared and then captured in ice – until a Frenchwoman brought them to back to life in her kitchen.

And threw some parsley sprigs on it for color before serving.

Tartiflette. Courgettes farcies. Sauté de veau avec sauce aux pleurottes.

Hell (oops !), even macarons.

If you haven’t yet tried St. Picard, I urge you to find out what He can do for you.

And in your darkest hour, when there’s nothing in your pantry but ketchup, pasta, and foie gras, I invite you to invoke the following prayer:

Oh glorious St. Picard,
Patron of all things delicious and glacée,
Deliver us from another night of leftover poulet rôti or Speed Rabbit Pizza.
I implore thee to speed a tasty, nutritious French meal to my loved ones
And divert the glances of my Husband and Belle-Mère from the cardboard boxes in the recycling bin.
Come to my assistance in my great need and I promise thee that I will take the Cordon Bleu course that my Husband offered me a s a gift last Christmas, in order to spread the Gospel of French cuisine.

Amen.
 

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