Monday, September 27, 2010

Le Botox Buddy

How do you know when you're getting older and slacking in the style department?

When your French hairdresser asks you to do Le Botox with him and you get dogged by the editor of Elle. All in the same day.

That was my deal just last week.

As I walked into the shampoo room at the coiffeur, there sat Madame Perma-Frown and she looked at me with disgust.

(Sidebar: I was so shocked by the "tu pues" look that I even checked my shoes to make sure there wasn't any dog crotte stuck on them).

Thank goodness I had a copy of Vogue to bury my red face in. Although I noticed I was getting dogged even more by Mme Perma-Frown when I opened the mag.

Fast forward to the haircut:

La Mom: So Pierre, why is that woman dogging me and how come I don't get showered with kisses from you when I come to the salon?

Pierre: No offense, but you're La Mom and that's Micheline, the editor of Elle. You know, you could try a little harder to dress up when you come. Reeboks aren't the epitome of style, especially in this part of Paris. You scream American and you've broken every rule in Micheline's fashion rulebook: no jeans, no trainers, no bad roots. On the other hand, you're looking très embelli for your age.

La Mom: As in not aging well?

Pierre: Au contraire, you're getting better with age.

La Mom: Well, you don't have any wrinkles yourself! Your forehead looks amazing. What's the secret?

Pierre: (Sporting a devilish grin) Spanish botox. It's cheaper to get botoxed in Barcelona. I make a three-day weekend out of it. La Mom, you look good, but you could use a little on your forehead.

(Sidebar: Pierre's grin was so botox. How did I not notice before? Only his lips moved while the rest of his face was frozen).

La Mom: I don't think le botox is for moi.

Pierre: La Mom, I have the names of the best botoxers in Paris. Working at this salon has its advantages. If you want, we could go together for an injection.

La Mom: Together?

Pierre: It's cheaper, ma chérie. The doctor never finishes a whole dose, but you pay for it anyway. If we share the botox we'll get two for the price of one. Or we could do it in Barcelona together. C'est beaucoup moins chèr.

La Mom: OMG, is that the Parisian Princess secret?

Pierre: Chérie, all the Parisiennes in the know share le botox.

La Mom: If I do it and look better, do you think will Micheline stop giving me dirty looks?

Pierre: Bien sûr que non. You flushed your first impression down the toilette. She works for Elle quand même.

So there you go. Another day in the life of La Mom. Génial, n'est-ce pas?

Photograph credit: Stefano Valle.

Image: Stefano Valle /

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Delana said...

Once you share botox with somebody...especially your're joined at the hip....never to be parted. Even after a series of really BAD haircuts!

Under the Influence said...

I've had Botox and I swear, I am about to set up a separate savings account for "beauty" care. My doc would only do the forehead and eye area. Nothing below because of the "frozen" face look.

Naperville Now said...

Cherie -- Did you? Will you? Should you?

Kiki said...

fantastic post. thankfully, there's no botox in my face so i was able to move my mouth to get the laughs out! i read that gals are getting botox as young as 28 to relax muscles and keep wrinkles from forming. suppose i'm about 5 years late. i need to make an appt with Hot Doc stat. he does my spider veins. he needs to work le magique on my face. take care, La Mom and good luck avec les injectables.

Sweet Freak said...

A botox weekend in Barcelona? I could be persuaded, ma belle... :)

Amy, Woman Exploding said...

First question: Were you wearing the high top Reeboks with the straps?

I saw a Dr. Oz show where some dermatologists were recommending women in there 30's begin botox early, like twice a year, as prevention. It supposedly keeps the skin from EVER collapsing and wrinkling. Damn! Too late for my old ass!

ParisBreakfasts said...

what is 'getting dogged' by someone?
I have a feeling I've been there..
I am not having foreign bodies put into my face.
And what if the Botox travels?
no merci pour moi
keep the Botox in the can

Karin (an alien parisienne) said...

Ahhhhhhh. It does not take that many years to go from lunchbox sharing to Botox sharing, does it. LOL.

This was highly educational. I have a neighbor downstairs who has procedures done regularly. Maybe it is time for me to see if she would like to share her sessions with moi.

You keep rockin' those Reeboks, La Mom.

The Armchair Parisian said...

I am sure I would be dogged as well. In fact, I am daily sure it has happened on a daily basis on most trips to Paris. Just step away from the Botox... There's just something not right about injecting poison into ones face...not to mention more than a little scary!

Anonymous said...

I know all about the Mesdames Michelines dirty looks. Believe me, I should know. That they are de editors of the Whatever magazines does not change anything. Have you read about the life of Mlle. Chanel? Where she came from and how she treated people? American women are famous around the world for their great beauty and generosity. Can we say the same for the French ones? I've been given so many piercing dirty looks by French women y should look by now like a colander. Would you trade your ugly shoes(according to them)for their attitude? Always consider the source, La Mom. In my country we say "La mona, aunque vestida de seda, mona siempre se queda". Maria O. Russell

nmaha said...

Sharing botox! Sharing the fact that a person uses botox seems to personal for me.

I hate using even cold cream on my face. I think I'll live with the lines. Can a botoxee laugh at herself, literally and figuratively?

Margarita said...

Fashion editors, pfffft. Who gets all dolled up to go to the hair stylists??

Laura said...

I've also heard of botox "parties" where many ladies gather a someone's house and they all get it done for a discounted price.

Laura in Ludwigsburg

Rosabell said...

Well, I have to admit I have done it... |This very summer ! Not with the hairdresser, but alone, because I couldn't find someone to share the vial and I did not want to wait until the doctor was able to find a companion. And it was not Botox, but Hialuronic Acid...And it's the first time I am telling it ! ( my husband doesn't know it because I never tell him anything about my beauty routine and he thinks I am all natural ..... If you ask him I don't need waxing because I don't have one extra hair on me, I don't have any wrinkle although I'll soon turn 40 , there is no white in my hair and I only put on some golden reflexes and so on :)) He is proud of my genes and natural beauty :)) By the way, the injections were worthy !

Fashion, Art and other fancies said...

I have yet to try Botox - but I enjoyed reading this article. So playful!

Anonymous said...

great post thanks

Swan said...

So are you going to tell me/us where are the best botox clinics in Paris ? Loved the article and wait for your response. A

La Mom-an American Mom in Paris said...

@Swan Sorry, chèrie, La Mom doesn't have the scoop on French botox clinics, as you would immediately know if you met me in person. :)

But...I can tell you that ANY procedure is way cheaper at a French dermatologist than in the US.

Happy de-wrinkling!

La Mom
An American Mom in Paris


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