Thursday, July 29, 2010

Sex And The City Paris: Expat Mommy Style

SATC 2000: Remember when our four favorite NYC girlfriends used to get together for brunch and a bitch session at a NYC diner? The convo focused on boyfriends, amour, and fashion.

Fast forward to SATC 2010: picture four expat moms taking the bitch session up a notch: champagne and lunch at the Crillon Hotel. The convo hasn't changed much either: husbands, amour, fashion, and kids.


La Mom, San Francisco Mom, Florida Mom, and Texas Mom decided they were sick of never seeing their husbands who work late and travel all the time. So SF Mom suggested sticking it to them by meeting for lunch at the Crillon Hotel.

SF Mom: Screw the husbands. Champagne's on me. No wait, it's on Marc but he doesn't know it yet and won't until he gets the credit card statement. Then it'll be too late!

La Mom: You are a petite coquine.

FLA Mom: Umm, what's up with Gilles, San Diego Mom's husband? Have you noticed he scratches himself all the time.?

Texas Mom: I know! And since when did he become so American? He wants to shake my hand instead of giving me a kiss on the cheek every time I see him. It's like he's forgotten he's French. Honestly, I'd prefer a kiss over a handshake if you know what I mean...


La Mom: Did you know that Carla Bruni gets free clothes from Antik Batik? I saw her thank you letter framed and displayed in the store on Rue de Turenne in the Marais.

FLA Mom: Isn't it enough that she's polyglot, rich, beautiful and married to the most powerful man in France? On top of that she gets cool clothes from Antik Batik sent to her FOR FREE? C'est injuste that one woman can be that lucky.

La Mom: I have to admit it. I have the biggest mom crush on Carla.


Texas Mom: Speaking of crushes, I've got a crush on Father Romeo at the International Church.

FLA Mom: How cute.

Texas Mom: Seriously, I only go to church for two reasons: 1/ to see Father Romeo and 2/ to drink the delicious Sauternes at communion.

La Mom: Boston Mom told me the same thing - the church wine is great.

Texas Mom: I had a dream last night that I left Christophe for Father Romeo.
(Insert horrified looks on all of our faces)

SF Mom: Now why would you do that?

Texas Mom: Well, why wouldn't I?

SF Mom: Because he makes like 7,000€ a year, that's why!

Texas Mom: That's not a reason.

FLA Mom: Honey, that's the only reason!


La Mom: Big Fry embarrassed the heck out of us last weekend. We were at Scotland Mom's housewarming party and he took one look at the terrine and said it looked like cat food.

SF Mom: Did he say it loudly in English?

La Mom: No. Get this - he said it in French to Big Cheese. But out of all the expats who arrive in Paris not speaking a word of French, he said it within earshot of the one expat who does! Scotland Mom was walking by and told Big Cheese she knew enough French to understand what Big Fry said.

Texas Mom: Incredibly embarrassing, but it could have been worse. Big Fry could have said it to a French hostess and then you would have been blacklisted from the Parisian party scene for the next ten years.

Is lunch at the Crillon over-the-top expensive? La Mom, your BFF in Paris, is here to tell you non. On Tuesdays, lunch at Les Ambassadeurs is only 68€. It doesn't start to get expensive until you order the 12€ bottle of Corsican sparkling water, so La Mom suggests you nix that in favor of good old Parisian tap water. Skip the 12€ coffee, too, and walk to the outdoor café in the Tuileries gardens. Les Ambassadeurs, Hôtel de Crillon, Place de la Concorde, 75008 Paris. Tél. : 01 44 71 16 16. Menu déjeuner à 68 € par personne, hors boissons (du mardi au vendredi).
La Mom was so happy to find out from her Twitter follower @lindseyrcanant that she's quoted in the EasyJet inflight magazine article on macarons. Passport Holders, if you happen to fly EasyJet this summer, can you please pick up a copy of the magazine for La Mom? Compensation will be a box of Pierre Hermé macarons!


Stacie said...

Great post! Really makes me wish I was heading to Europe this summer though. Love your style, thank you!

Genie said...

I'm a Delta girl but will see about getting you an Easy Jet magazine (or 2) -- Congrats!

Sweet Freak said...

Love you and your friends! (And Big Fry's catfood comment - lol).

Thanks for the Tuesday dejeuner tip!

Karin (an alien parisienne) said...

"Speaking of crushes, I've got a crush on Father Romeo at the International Church" and "the church wine is great."


Seriously LOLed and snorted at that whole convo! :)

I'm going on EasyJet to Nice in three weeks. Lemme see what I can do. If I turn up with the goods, I'll let you know. ;-)

Beadboard UpCountry said...

What a fun Post! I would love to be a fly on the wall when all of you get together! I love small fry's antics!!!!!Hysterical! Love Carla Bruni too....I have Le Temps Perdu as my ringtone on my phone....Maryanne xo

Karin (an alien parisienne) said...

Ohhh, just remembered that my BFF and her girlies are coming to Paris on Monday via EasyJet, too! I just called her and she's on it. (Can you tell I want those macarons?! LOL)

Julie Mautner said...

This is too funny. What a cute post! Thanks for letting us listen in.

Bistro Chic said...

This is too funny! I would love to live in France and join your group. I would be Chicago Mom. And Carla Bruni - that is so unfair!

Virginia said...

Only 68 Euros? OMG , I won't be joining you girls as mcuh as I'd love to! Next time i'm in Paris , I need the address for that church. Father R. sounds really cute! :)

La Bonbonniere said...

Hilarious!! Love your blog!

The Armchair Parisian said...

Some girls have all the fun :-) Thanks for letting us join you for lunch :-))

Amy, formerly known as Scandy! said...

I always love a good bitch session! Especially when it's informative: 2 birds with one stone.
Sorry you had trouble viewing my DC interview. Quite humorous. Try this link
and laugh your Frenchie little ass off at me trying to stay professional!

Karin (an alien parisienne) said...

I got the EasyJet in-flight mag, but it is the one for August and it does not appear to have any article about macarons. :( Boo hoo! So sorry! Sounds like it must have been the July issue...

La Mom-an American Mom in Paris said...

@ Karin (an alien parisienne)
Thanks so much for looking! I guess it's in the July issue. Le sigh.

La Mom
An American Mom in Paris

professional 600 kp26m1x said...

Brilliant! Makes me want to come hang out with you in Paris. LOL

Paris in Pink said...

I love your posts. So funny and so true of the expat life in Paris. Off to read some more! :) Paris in Pink

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