Monday, April 12, 2010
La Mom realizes how lucky she is to live in the most beautiful and romantic city on earth.
So it really gets her down when she meets other moms (collectively referred to as Jennifer) who can’t find one thing nice thing to say about living in France. Jennifer complains about everything French.
I mean, how can you complain about living in a country where:
-It’s OK, and even encouraged, to drink wine at lunch time. Heck, anytime of the day!
-If you play your cards right, you can get the French government to pay for the spider vein removal on your legs after your pregnancies.
-Wine! Cheese! Pain au chocolat! Croissants! Dr. Hot! Carla Bruni!
-People cheek kiss each other all the time. Even in business meetings.
La Mom's met a lot of complaining Jennifers over the years. They’re everywhere from playgroups to the Parc MOMceau.
Mommy Profile du jour: The Complainer
Natural Habitat: The US. Except for the last two years spent in exile in France. Jennifer is crossing the days off her calendar until she moves home.
Hangout: Anyplace where she can buy American or hang with Americans because “why can't the French speak English, why do I have to learn French?” : Starbucks, McDonald’s, playgroups, The American Library/Cathedral/Hospital/Embassy/School, WHSmith, Thanksgiving, The Real McCoy
Raison d’être: Complain about the French 24/7.
(Sidebar: Oui, ze French, especially the Parisians, can be très difficult to live with during the winter months, but I don’t see how Americans are any better?)
Uniform: Jennifer love love loves her Ralph Lauren American flag sweater during the week, The North Face polar fleece jacket in bubble-gum pink for le weekend, Levi’s jeans (imported from the US because, “Why can’t I find any high-wasted jeans in this city? The girls all walk around with their jeans cut down to their minous”),and Nike trainers. All American, all the time.
How to spot her: Jennifer’s the one complaining at the park about everything French.
1. "Why do they eat snails and frog legs? All I want is a decent piece of cheesecake in this town and I can't get it. Gawd I want to go home."
2. "No, we're not going to Italy for spring break. My husband works for a French company which means he makes NO MONEY. At least not enough for us to stay in a suite at the Hotel Angleterre for a week."
3. "Why can't the French scoop up after their dogs? I'd never have to think of watching where I walk in the US. This city is so gross."
(Sidebar: I'm afraid I have to agree with her on that one ;)
Profession: Se plaindre.
Vacations: Definitely.Not.France. Find Jennifer vacationing in London ("Harrod's sells Krispy Kreme donuts!"), Malta, or Scandinavia (“Thank gawd the Swedes speak English.”)
Think La Mom can dish it, but can't take it? Rendez-vous next week - same time, same place, for another Mommy Profile...this time about La Mom!
at 9:28 PM