Monday, December 7, 2009

This Little Piggy Stayed Home

La Mom is grounded. I’ve been spending the last few days shuttling between home and job crossing my fingers. But the news is officially in:

Big Fry has the flu.

Poof. Did you hear that noise? It’s the sound of my union-guaranteed child sick leave going up in smoke.

We don’t actually know if it’s the grippe porcine, but all signs point to yes. And to add insult to injury, we just got the first round of “bons” (certificates) to get the H1N1 shot at a local vaccination center.

Here’s what the medical community has had to say so far about the vaccine:

Pediatrician: Your kids are healthy. It’s better to catch the flu than take the risk of an unknown vaccine.

SOS Medecins:
Two weeks ago I would have told you not to get it, but now I’ve changed my mind.

GP: Madame, if you ask me if you should vaccinate, you are becoming more French than the français. Go get the vaccine immediately for yourself and your children!

And this is what’s going on chez La Mom:

Big Fry (coughing): Maman, my legs hurt where my feet are attaché.

La Mom:
That’s your ankles, sweetie. I’m so sorry your ankles hurt!

We’re quarantined for the long haul. I am now accepting all care packages including chocolate and wine. Please send to:

La Mom
101 rue des Cochons Malades
75016 Paris

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