Monday, November 23, 2009

Talking Turkey

It’s that time of year when La Mom goes incognito.

Trench coat collar pulled up? Check.

Oversized sunglasses? Check.

Broad-brimmed hat? Check.

Non, La Mom isn’t a paparazzi target – yet. The real reason I keep a low profile is because of La SuperMom.

You know La SuperMom: think La Mom on steroids. At home she'd be running the PTA, the Junior League, and catering every birthday party in town. In Paris, it's her personal mission to educate the French about every single American holiday -- no matter how big or small.

Every year it’s the same conversation:

La SuperMom:
Hi, La Mom! Hey, what are you doing next Wednesday?

La Mom: Uh, that’s my one day off with the kids.

La SuperMom:
Oh yeah – well, I was wondering if you could come do a little talk about Thanksgiving for Jake’s class.

La Mom to self: Why would I do that? He and Big Fry don’t even go to the same school!

La Mom: You're the Thanksgiving expert...why don’t you do the talk?

La SuperMom: I’ll be busy manning the turkey buffet and serving my homemade pumpkin pie!

La Mom: Let me get back to you on that.

I don’t think La SuperMom would really like my Thanksgiving recap anyway. Here’s La Mom’s version:

Once upon a time there were some religious fanatics called the pilgrims who got kicked out of their country and had to find a new home. They couldn’t hack it in their new environment so turned to the generosity of the native people to survive. They gave the pilgrims corn, the pilgrims gave them syphilis. Thanks to the pilgrims’ puritan work ethic the US doesn’t have as many holidays as in France.

Maman du Jour – La SuperMom

Natural habitat: Her kids’ classroom.

Hangouts: Loisirs et Créations craft store – it’s the only place in town you can find pipe cleaners and googly eyes in the same store!

Uniform: Mom jeans, sweats, and running shoes. Hey, making a robot out of recycled Perrier cans is messy work, people.

How to spot her: The dark circles under her eyes from pulling an all-nighter making personalized shamrock cupcakes for her 3-year-old’s St. Paddy’s Day party.

Raison d’Etre: Create the perfect miniature gingerbread house. And win first prize at the American Church Christmas Fair, bien sûr.

Profession: Queen of the Glue Gun.

Vacations: Raiding Target for glitter pens when back home for Thanksgiving.

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