Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wouldn't you agree that someone who thinks they know everything can be annoying un petit peu?
You know the one I'm talking about - someone who can clear a playgroup in 5 minutes flat because she starts preaching about how she got her baby to sleep through the night with a certain sleep method and if you're not using the same method then you don't know anything. Her way is THE only way to do things. You = bad mommy.
Maman du Jour: Madame Know-It-All
Natural habitat: She holds court at the park, playgroups, art class, English class, the school gates, the American Church, Starbucks, and the American Library.
Oh wait, not the American Library because you have to be quiet in the library and all she likes to do is talk talk talk. She tells you in an insanely loud let-all-the-Parisians-know-I'm-American voice what your kid should be doing or eating for their age because that's what her kids did (so it must be the right way). If she thinks your kid isn't developing correctly then "you probably didn't breast feed long enough and you need to go straight to the American Hospital in "Newy" to see my pediatrician."
(Sidebar - can you believe this stuff?)
Profession: Master of everything
How to spot her: You don't. You hear Madame Know-It-All before you spot her.
She's the first one to criticize everyone about their parenting skills, yet she's the one who has a caca nerveux and goes bananas screaming at her kids because they've run in a puddle (I'd call that acting like kids, but I don't know anything obviously).
Raison d'Etre #1: To share her knowledge about everything with everyone.
You name it she knows it. Madame's been in France for 6 months and she's a walking encylopedia for:
-French fashion, "Chanel is overrated. Zadig & Voltaire will go down as great French fashion designers."
-French food, "French fries aren't called French fries in France, they're just fries."
-French military, "The military doesn't know anything about helicopters. Nicolas Sarkozy's helicopter isn't as big or beautiful as Obama's."
-Daddy Sarkozy, "Sarkozy is the first French President to marry a supermodel."
-French men, "All French men cheat on their wives, it's in their DNA."
Raison d'Etre#2: She lives for the next expat move so she can share her knowledge on raising kids in France with her new friends. She hoping a move to Germany is in the cards (where she just may be nicknamed wisenheimer by the expat moms there.)
Kid's names: Anything with KNOW or ALL in it:
Boys:Knowland, Knollton, Knowie, Allexander; Girls: Knowlanda, Allison, Allicia, Allexandra