Thursday, September 10, 2009

La Mom's Rentrée Diet

Most people get in shape for the summer, but that’s sooo not parisienne. With the social calendar gearing up as people come back from their holidays, I’ve got to shift the extra padding I put on in the States (merci, Krispy Kreme).

The only problem is re-finding my French will of steel after a month-long Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and Mexican food binge.

Here’s what my diet looks like so far:

Breakfast:

Double Nespresso shot, no sugar. (Caffeine should jump-start the metabolism.)

Organic muesli with plain organic yoghurt. (Très, très healthy. Drawback: tastes like wet cardboard. Found an actual twig in the muesli.)

Mid-morning snack:

3 squares of Lindt Coeur Fondant milk chocolate with gooey center. (I needed a pick-me-up. Chocolate’s good for the skin, right?)

Lunch:

Mixed salad greens with tabouleh. (Très healthy.)

Added half a pack of Société Roquefort cheese (Merde.)

Afternoon snack:


End-of-the season mirabelle plums (Très healthy and très délicieuse – but who am I kidding? It's really just an excuse to see Jean-Luc at the local market fruit stand.)

Dinner:

Congealed Kraft Mac’N’Cheese that the Fries didn’t finish (Gross on so many levels.)

Grapes (in the form of two glasses of Bordeaux – resveratrol is definitely good for the skin!)

Midnight snack:

The rest of the Lindt squares. (Whoops.)

French women don’t get fat – but this Américaine better watch it before her ass lops over the Métro seats!

What are your French-style diet tips? La Mom wants to know!

Monday, September 7, 2009

Dogged


France.

A country with a long history of promoting Les Droits de L'Homme (human rights.) Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité.

Yet even I was surprised to see human rights fly out the window when it comes to dogs. It seems dogs have more rights that children do. At least in the 16th arrondissement of Paris. Case in point:

The French Fries got a bucket of sidewalk chalk from the US over the summer. We put it to use last week on our street. My little Monet and Manet were having so much fun scribbling Eiffel Towers, cars, and les soleils (suns) when an older lady walked up and tried to put an end to it.

Madame: Excuse me, but you shouldn't let your kids draw on the sidewalk like that.

La Mom: Oh it's ok Madame. They're just crayons made for the sidewalk and will wash away the next time it rains.

Madame: Well it looks like graffiti.

La Mom: I'm sorry about that, but the crayons are made for children to use this way.

Madame: It's dirty and it brings down the standing of the street. We live in the 16th arrondissement after all.

La Mom: (insert Parisian shoulder shrug)

Madame: We're not dogs living in an HLM (public housing).

Did she say 'dogs'? Of course La Mom took the dog reference and ran with it!

La Mom: What would you prefer to do? Walk down the street and have to look at scribbles or dog poop? Scribbles don't stink and if you walk on the drawings, they won't ruin your shoes!

Madame: Dogs don't know any better, but you do and you shouldn't let your kids draw on the sidewalk.

La Mom: If you want to clean up the streets then start with dog owners. Dog merde is bringing down the standing of the 16th, not my kids!
 

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