Friday, July 10, 2009

Breaking News

(La Mom News Wire) Paris, France - The End of a Major French Fashion Faux Pas

L'Equipe Magazine, France's leading sports news magazine over the weekend announced the demise of a major French fashion accessory. One that has cradled French boys & men since World War II. Please get ready to pay your respects to something every French man has (unfortunately) worn at least once in his life...

La Banana Hammock

"On a man, the banana hammock shows too much. Too much thigh and inner-leg. It's too small to have a truly esthetic function and therefore has no technical role. It molds the package. It's boldly rude and disrespectful," writes Marc Beaugé of L'Equipe Magazine.

The banana hammock is being replaced by boxers, shorts, and bermudas. Even Olympic swimmers are replacing their speedos with hi-tech swim suits. Can't blame them, non?

"France's beaches will be beautiful again. Women will no longer be visually held hostage to la banana hammock," said La Mom. "We've seen enough 'meat and two veg' to last a lifetime. My only question is what took so long?" She continues, "This is one French fashion accessory that should have died 40 years ago. In some bi-cultural marriages, the French husband's wearing of a banana hammock can be grounds for divorce."

La Mom will be reporting from the beaches of France later this summer. Is the demise of la banana hammock fact or fiction? Stay tuned to La Mom's blog for updates and pictures, bien sûr!

About La Mom - Tales of An American Mom in Paris:

La Mom is a leading expat blogger. According to fans, her witty, creative blog enables readers to imagine what it's like living in Paris as an expat, with kids, and with the French!

You can read all about La Mom's adventures in Paris at More information about La Mom is available at:


SOURCE: L'Equipe Magazine: and La Mom


Follow La Mom on Twitter this Saturday as she hosts an American-themed dinner party for 10 Frenchies!

Will the French turn their noses up at fine American cuisine: hamburgers, fries, and apple pie? Tune into La Mom's tweets to find out!

And if you live in Paris 16th, my apartment door will have a picture of Obama taped to it. If you can find it, you're invited to join in on the fun too!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Road Rage

It’s official.

I’m a real Parisienne.

It doesn’t have anything to do with my clothes, perfume, or certain je ne sais quoi that I’ve tried desperately to cultivate.

It’s because I can cuss somebody out in rush-hour traffic.

You’d think that bearing the fruit of his loins would make Big Cheese proud of me, but no. It’s the fact that I’ve started honking and gesticulating wildly in true Parisian fashion that has him grinning from ear to ear.

Especially since I cracked down on his voiture etiquette after Big Fry was born.

That was then:

Big Cheese (honking):
Putain de merde, connard! (translation: unprintable)

La Mom: Honey, get a grip on it! You know how they repeat everything at this age.

Big Fry: Connard! (translation: unprintable)

This is now:

La Mom: If I flip the bird at someone, does that mean “va te faire foutre”?

Big Cheese: Quoi?

La Mom:
The other day this guy stopped at a red light, signaled that he was turning right, and started reversing into me. He saw a parking place at the last minute and wanted to back up into it.

Big Cheese:
In the middle of traffic? What did you do?

La Mom: Well, first I started laying on the horn and then he yelled at me, so I flipped him off, pulled into the lane of oncoming traffic, rolled down the window and screamed “Va te faire foutre, connard!

Big Cheese: Je t’aime.

Small Fry: Connard!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

iParis, Do You?

iParised all weekend and got out of my little bubble that is the 16th arrondissement. Have a look...

Happy 5th Birthday to a dear friend who's been the hangout of choice for expat mom coffee mornings (because they're kid friendly!)

Déclicieux! Tourists sampling French cuisine as the garbage truck drives by at the Marché Poncelet.

Crazy Parisian drivers around the Madeleine.

Ladurée, La Mom's favorite tea rooom for a croissant aux amandes et pistache and a café crème. Go early in the morning, because the line is out the door by afternoon.

Want an affordable piece of French luxury? Head to Hermès on the Rue du Fauboug Saint Honoré for a bangle, belt, or scarf.

Stay tuned later this week as La Mom reveals the demise of a major French fashion accessory!

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