Frenchy Friday

There's a Spanish proverb that says, “With bread and wine you can walk your road.”

I wonder if the Spaniards were hanging out on a road in France when this proverb was coined since it's the French who are known for their bread and wine.

What a yummy display of French bread available at Le Bon Marché's très chic and très expensive food store. This is where La Mom shops for good ol' American food like Ghiradelli Brownie Mix, Skippy Peanut Butter, Paul Newman's Caesar Salad Dressing, and Jiffy Muffin Mix.

Little Bo Peep Has Lost Her Sheep

Bo's sheep has been hanging out at La Mom's place. With Big Cheese actually.

The French do this really annoying thing when they speak. Not only do they suck in air at the same time they say "oui", they baaaa like sheep!

Questions cannot be answered without inserting a "baaaaa" at the beginning of the sentence. The American equivalent is probably an "Uhh."

Here are some examples overheard recently chez nous. See how annoying it is to be at the receiving end of a sheep baaaaa?

La Mom: Coffee, tea, or me?
Big Cheese: Baaaaa. Café.
La Mom: Wrong answer!

La Mom: St. Tropez or Corsica for summer vacation?
Big Cheese: Baaaaa. Neither. Too many nouveaux riches Russians in St. Trop' and too many Corsicans in Corsica.

La Mom: What did Daddy Sarkozy have to say about the economic stimulus plan?
Big Cheese: Baaaa. Not much. Work more to earn more.

La Mom: Did you see Carla Bruni on the cover of FHM almost naked?
Big Cheese: Baaaa. Leaving now to buy a copy!
La Mom: Baaaa. What?

La Mom: Champagne or wine?
Big Cheese: Baaaaa. Baaaa. Baaaa. Baaaa. Champagne.
La Mom: What took you so long to decide? You've been drinking the stuff since you were 6!

Get the picture?

Homeless in Saint Barth's

Mommy Money Bags (MMB) is up to it again.

She's smoking carpet. 1970's shag carpet to be exact.

That's how the French say it, "Elle fume la moquette." It translates to smoking carpet, but it really means that dear little Mommy Money Bags needs a reality check. Quick!

Last week I was hanging out with the Wine Club ladies. We meet once a month to taste wine. Sometimes we go to restaurants, sometimes we have a private tasting in our apartments.

I've secretly nicknamed this gathering the Whine Club because that's what most of these moms do - whine and complain while sipping Château Petrus!

(Sidebar: Luckily I do have some good friends who come along and I've learned a lot about le vin, so these evenings aren't a total bust.)

MMB was the Whiner of Honor at last week's tasting. If you had been with us, here's what you would have overheard her whining about:

MMB: Christmas in St. Barth's was devastating. It was the last one in our house.

La Mom: Why?

MMB: With the economic crisis, Pierre's business isn't making money like it used to. Things have really slowed down. We've been forced to downsize our lifestyle. The house is for sale!

(Sidebar Also for sale with the house: the driver, golfcart, maid, au pair, cook, and gardener).

Chicago Mom: Are you kidding? What are you going to do?

(Chicago Mom then sends La Mom a text message to her phone that reads: She has 11 other vacation homes 2 choose from. Can't sympathize!)

MMB: I LOVE that house and CAN'T imagine not vacationing there anymore. My God, I'm gonna be homeless in St. Barth's!

(Insert a collective "Aaawww" from the other moms.)

Doesn't her plight just make you want to cry?

Tragique
!