Friday, January 23, 2009

National Doody Day

It's raining, It's pouring
La Mom is imploring
Keep your dogs inside
Potty train them too
I'm sick of stepping in dog doo

With the power vested in moi by Daddy Sarkozy, I'm declaring today National Doody Day in France.

I think you already know why.

It's raining cats and dogs today. The nice little presents the French poodles have left all over the sidewalks are now melting in the rain. And spreading all over the sidewalks. And making it hard for me to navigate the stroller through the chocolate maze of horror.

In honor of National Doody Day, La Mom will begin issuing weekly Sidewalk Security Advisory Alerts (or you could just simply call 'em PA's: Poop Alerts).

You will find these alerts located on the right hand sidebar of the blog, in between "Other Magnifique Blogs" and "Je Tweet". I figure you don't need have this visual staring you in the face each time you log on to read. So you'll have to go find it if you're wondering if the poop alerts are SEVERE, HIGH, ELEVATED or LOW.

Ha! I can pretty much guarantee you the alerts will never be LOW except maybe in July and August when everyone leaves to go on vacation, therefore taking their furry friends with them!

PS- The PA visual is a certified original from the Mayor of Paris and was used in the latest "Clean Up Your Streets" ad campaign. registered & protected

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Another French Lesson with La Mom’s Alphabet

B comme Bonpoint

What to get for the baby who has everything? In Paris, it’s simple – just head to Bonpoint!

Chinchilla fur vest for a three-month-old? Check.

Cashmere onsie? Check.

All you need to pick these and other luxe goodies up is a big fat cheque.

Case in point (or Bonpoint, as it were): Mademoiselle Suri steps out in Bonpoint’s silver ballerina slippers – for a mere $230!

Although some of their stuff is over-the-top (I mean, who in their right mind has “dry-clean only” baby & toddler clothes?), I admit to lusting after their tiny raw silk smocked dresses.

On the other hand, some of their gear is downright boring. When Big Fry was born, I got a plain heather grey waffle-weave onesie with matching bottoms from La Famille Fromage. Guess what? It looked exactly like the outfit my sister got me at Target for $4.99!

A few days ago at the Parc Monceau, I saw an angelic little boy catapult down the slide, wipe his snotty nose on the sleeve of his “B” logo Bonpoint merino wool sweater, swipe his sister’s lollipop and push her face-down in the gravel. registered & protected

In this case the clothes don’t make the child – “B” also stands for “brat”.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Another One Bites The Dust

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone and another one gone
Another one bites the dust yeah
Hey I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

Yep, the nanny is dust. A bit earlier than I had planned in fact thanks to Big Fry.

So what happened?

I planned on firing the current nanny (Belle) on Friday so I could get a few days of babysitting out of her.

The new nanny(NouNou), who we interviewed last week, starts next week.

Well, Big Fry met NouNou and must have figured out what was going on or overheard Big Cheese and I speaking about everything because today he let the cat out of the bag. The cat jumped out with a big meow!

According to Belle, this is what Big Fry said:

Big Fry: My mommy and daddy don't like you. You are always late.
Belle: What?
BF: I'm going to have a new nanny. You're not going to babysit me or Small Fry anymore.
Belle: Ah, bon?
BF: My new nanny is NouNou.

As a look of shock spread over my face and with realization that there was no pretending otherwise, I fessed up on the spot. I told Belle we were very disappointed with her lack of punctuality and if she was showing this pattern within the first ten days of her new job while on her trial period, then what would it be like six months from now?

I really wanted to let her down nicely, soften the blow a bit because she is a nice person. She was great with the French Fries. She just needs to wear a watch.

Some days you're La Mom, some days you're the Dust Buster.

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