Tuesday, August 25, 2009
It's tanfest, that time when everyone in Paris comes back from their long summer vacations and competition begins for the best vacation tan.
I went to visit Big Fry's school to find out the teacher's name and bumped into "Tan-Sophie" (real name: Anne-Sophie), one of the French moms who looks tanorexic. Apparently, questioning someone's tan factor in this city is grounds for a full on tan-attack! Here's what went down:
La Mom: Hi there! How was your summer vacation?
(Sidebar: Note: you must ask this all important question at la rentrée. If you don't, it's considered impolite by the French.)
Tan-Sophie: Super! We spent a whole month in Sainte Maxime. Et toi? You don't look like you went on vacation at all. (Ouch! 1 point to Anne-So.)
La Mom: We went back to the US for a month then spent some time in Corsica. You, by the way, aren't very tan either for spending a month at the beach. (Rebound! Hit 'em where it hurts - the tan. 1 point for moi.)
Tan-Sophie: (Offended look on her face) Well I've been back in Paris for a week already! Of course I'm losing my tan. You know, le bronzage du sud (a southern tan) is orange and doesn't last very long. On the contrary, a tan from Brittany is far better because it's deeper, darker, and lasts a lot longer.
(Sidebar: Leave it to a Parisian to point out the fine differences between a Riviera and a Brittany tan.)
La Mom: Well I had no idea there are such important differences between southern and northern French tans.
Tan-Sophie: Excuse me for saying this, but you really should consider going a shade darker. You don't want your husband comparing you to tan French women do you? (2 points to Anne-Sophie for that snide remark.)
La Mom: You obviously didn't read the Journal du Dimanche while on vacation because if you had you would've seen the 2 PAGE ARTICLE on sun dangers and skin cancer. You know Anne-Sophie, those who don't tan seem to have fewer wrinkles in the long run. You may want to stop now before you reach the point of no return.
(5 points for La Mom! I just knew I'd be able to whip this out one day - I didn't expect it to be so soon.)