It’s official. I’m a real Parisienne.
It doesn’t have anything to do with my clothes, perfume, or certain je ne sais quoi that I’ve tried desperately to cultivate.
It’s because I can cuss somebody out in rush-hour traffic.
You’d think that bearing the fruit of his loins would make Big Cheese proud of me, but no. It’s the fact that I’ve started honking and gesticulating wildly in true Parisian fashion that has him grinning from ear to ear.
Especially since I cracked down on his voiture etiquette after Big Fry was born.
That was then:
Big Cheese (honking): Putain de merde, connard! (translation: unprintable)
La Mom: Honey, get a grip on it! You know how they repeat everything at this age.
Big Fry: Connard! (translation: unprintable)
This is now:
La Mom: If I flip the bird at someone, does that mean “va te faire foutre”?
Big Cheese: Quoi?
La Mom: The other day this guy stopped at a red light, signaled that he was turning right, and started reversing into me. He saw a parking place at the last minute and wanted to back up into it.
Big Cheese: In the middle of traffic? What did you do?
La Mom: Well, first I started laying on the horn and then he yelled at me, so I flipped him off, pulled into the lane of oncoming traffic, rolled down the window and screamed “Va te faire foutre, connard!”
Big Cheese: Je t’aime.
Small Fry: Connard!
20 comments:
De-lurking to say that I LOVE this! :)
What took so long! It must be liberating to be a real Parisian finally....lol! You go girl!
Yay for you! It feels good to tell someone off through an open car window, huh?
I have really had to cut back on my road rage language - my kids picked it up very quickly. Now I just mumble it to myself.
Haha...hilarious!
Shit, La Mom, if that's all it takes to be officially French, I've been there for years!
I love Google! I don't think these words will be covered in my French class!!
I miss driving.
You're a hoot. I can tell I'm gonna love reading your posts..
New Yorkers tend to do that too!
Scandalous housewife is a hoot too!
Since I don't know what any what you said means it doesn't sound all that bad to me. ;)
Must remember french curse words for future use. *scribbling furiously*
They do that in Italy too. I seemed to be immune - until I got my driver's license. Yesterday I just flipped off my first stupid driver. Here's to first timers! :-)
Awesome!
Ahhh...to be a Parisian must be so satisfying! Good for you and your birdie finger!
My 7th grade french finally came in handy - I understood the first curse. For the 2nd one, google saved the day :)
Love it!!!! I remember those days fondly! :) I'm proud of you!
xoxo
Judith~
I'm glad we're not the only family that inadvertently teaches French driving vocabulary to our toddler. :)
I must make note of those! I have a major tendency to curse when on the road, maybe with the French terms, I can make it sound classy!
Yeah...love the lingo, xv.
Hmmm... I've recently learned that in Germany it's a 200E fine for flipping the bird!!! Not that I would ever do such a thing while driving, oh no... but well, during the same conversation I learned that since bird flipping is fine causing that the Germans wiggle their fingers in the pick any finger fashion to get their point across!
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