Monday, June 15, 2009

Poor Little Rich Girl

I think I’ve found a silver lining to the economic crisis. Hang on – make that lining platinum. There are so many going-away parties that La Mom is getting personal guided tours of Paris’ premium real estate.

I’m slightly jaded after the parade of custom-made Smeg kitchens with built-in Nespresso bars, but every once in a while there’s a bijou de famille that takes my breath away.

Sidebar: If you’re ever considering ditching a party in favor of curling up on your sofa with a glass of champagne and some Bugles, always check the address first. An OTT hostess gift is well worth the price of admission to check out the Lifestyles of the Bitch and Famous on Avenue Foch.

Take last Saturday night’s hangout, for example.

Even though the guest of honor was a woman who I could frankly take or leave in terms of playdate material, I had to go to her bon voyage bash just to get a glimpse of the hôtel particulier that my friend Chicago Mom has been raving about.

This swanky soirée was hosted by the American wife of a high-powered advertising exec. Rumor has it that he runs the French subsidiary of a well-known global agency with an iron fist. Well, whatever Jérôme is doing is clearly bringing home the lardon, as I found out from my hostess.

Poor Little Rich Girl: Well, you’ve seen the rooftop garden, so let’s go down to the kids’ suites.

La Mom: (Swigging champagne) Sure. Did she say suites?

PLRG: I just find that Philémon and Sixtine really need their separate spaces.

Sidebar: Philémon is 5 going on 45 (or at least you’d think so with the way she dresses him as a mini replica of his dad), and Sixtine is the ripe old age of 3 – clearly the perfect time for your own private powder room.

PLRG: And here’s the master bedroom.

La Mom: Wow! Jesus, this place is bigger than my living room!

The real centerpiece is the bathroom. I had the stained glass skylight custom-made. We flew the marble in from Italy for the Jacuzzi. You know, I actually don’t like going to hotels any more because they’re never as nice as my house.

La Mom: (Strangling noise)

PLRG: Are you OK?

La Mom: Fine – just about choked on my canapé.

Can’t hack the 5-star resorts because they don’t have heated bidets? C’est la cerise sûr le gâteau.

Say it with me, people: Awwwwww. Ma pauvre petite chérie.


Joanna Jenkins said...

A "kids suite?" They have too much money :-) But I'd arm wrestler her for a roof top garden!

funny post- again! Thanks.

vicki archer said...

I wish I had been there to see those suites...xv

SuZ said...

So do you think it would've been super tacky if you whipped out the camera and took some shots for your blog?


Egh... :)

Julia@SometimesLucid said...

Wow!!! Why was she moving away? Did a door squeek and instead of fixing it they decided to sell the whole house?

a H.I.T. said...

Think she'll mind an American shacker this June?

Katie said...

Bonjour! So happy to have stumbled upon your blog! I am a San Diego girl living on the outskirts of Paris.

Monkey Girl said...

Yeah, those 5 star St. Regis' are just the pits aren't they?

And don't get me started on the 4 star Four Seasons...ugg.

Too too funny.

Did you see what kind of papier d'toilette she uses? Super quilted?
Or does she just drip dry? :) When your ass is that pampered, I want to know what you wipe it with!!

Nicole said...

So are all these swanky flats rentals or are they going up for sale?!

La Mom said...


That depends. A lot of them are rentals -- if it's an expat family on an assignment, the company pays the hefty rent.

Some are family homes, particularly when a foreigner is married to a Frenchman or -woman.

You want me to let you know if anything goes up for sale? What's your budget -- 2.5 million euro?


La Mom


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