Monday, June 29, 2009

Flash in the Pan

I’ve discovered there’s more than one way to be the most popular mom at the school fair.

Some mamans slave over homemade madeleines, some donate bottles of Château Margaux wine to the raffle, and then there’s my tactic.

Flash the dads.

OK, so it wasn’t a part of the original plan. Last Friday was our first-ever school fair – and I was feeling the pressure. I knew I’d see Arabelle, the snooty Alpha-Maman who somehow managed four small children, ran the PTA with an iron fist, and baked the perfect quiche – all in peep-toe high heels. Her son Paul is pals with Big Fry, and I always dread her cold once-over glance as she looks at me like I’m a ver de terre that she inadvertently squashed with her 4-inch stilettos.

This time I was determined that there was no way Arabelle could accuse me of slacking off on my motherly duties. Armed with a homemade tarte aux abricots and my new violet linen wrap dress, I immediately signed up to man the pêche aux canards booth for the kiddies.

How hard could it be, right?

I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of 80 French kids hopped up on bonbons and let loose for the evening. The next 30 minutes was a blur of accepting tokens and pushing fishing poles into grabbing hands eager to fish for plastic ducks in an inflatable swimming pool.

Paul and his dad elbowed through the crowd for his turn. “Bonjour, Paul,” I said sweetly I handed him his fishing pole – just as the hook of an overexcited four-year-old caught on the hem of my dress.

The eyebrows of Paul’s papa shot up so far on his forehead that they almost went into orbit as he was treated to a full-frontal of my see-through fuschia lace bikini.

I told you that I dressed for the occasion.

It’s the French twist on your mother’s insistence on clean underwear:

Always wear pretty panties – you never know who’s going to see them.


Anonymous said...

Yay! I feel your triumph.

Simply Mel said...

The perfect Monday morning chuckle! Love it!

StyleSpy said...

I am right this minute headed to the underwear drawer to toss out all the non-flash-worthy items. Thanks for the reminder.

ModernMom said...

LOL Flashing of Pretty panties trumps overly organized snotty head of PTA any day!

Elisa said...

I bet there were lots of dads volunteering to bring their boys "fishing" after that ;-)

Good job - always be prepared :-)

Katie said...

Oh man! that's a classic story- at least you were dressed in the best!

Under the Influence said...

Oo-la-la! I'm glad you were prepared!

DolceDreams said...

Oh! I love it! Aren't those school events something, no matter where you live. I am happy to hear you did yours up with class and panache!

SuZ said...

He he he.... he he. :)

This sounds like something that would happen to me! :)

a H.I.T. said...

At least your flashing pretty!

Kelli said...

Thanks for a good laugh! I can see it now, would make a great scene in a French movie.
See why so many women of other nationalities need to give up their cotton big-butt panties for good.
A bientot!

Michelle said...

I bet you both were embarassed. At least you had pretty panties on!

Paris Atelier said...

Haha! So funny! Arabelle probably wears granny panties! OMG! I hope you had your "hair removal procedure" by now! So funny!

Suburbia Steph said...

Whew! Aren't you glad you don't go commando? LOL Funny.


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