Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Joke's On Daddy

Dear Daddy Sarkozy,

Happy Anniversary! You've been Daddy of France for two years now. And what a great Daddy you've been. You've shown your 60 million children quite a few things in such a short time. Par exemple:

1/ It's perfectly normal to get divorced and remarried within four months.
Hey kids - why waste your time dating to see if (s)he's the one? Just marry 'em and figure it out later.

2/ You've given hope to vertically challenged kids everywhere that you can be the shortest kid on the playground and still get the hottest girl at school!

3/ It's OK to tease children with phrases such as, "I'm gonna flush out the trash in the suburbs" or "Get out of here poor idiot!"

4/ You supposedly claimed in a playgroup that Spain's Prime Minister isn't the smartest kid on the block. Now Daddy, you should only tell Mommy Carla that kind of stuff. In. Private. Don't do it in front of the kids.

There are numerous other examples Daddy, but La Mom's not here to take you down on your big day. I think you're fabulous and j'adooooore you! In fact, I'm writing this letter to alert you that the English are at it again. Did you read the Daily Mail on Monday? The Brits are making fun of France - and since you're France's top Daddy, well, I just thought you should know what they are saying behind your back.

Et voila:

Since World War II, the French and its army have been seen by many as standard-bearers for surrender, cowardice and military ineptitude.
But at least they've made us laugh. Here's a selection of morale-boosting jokes and quips about the people so memorably described in The Simpsons TV series as the cheese-eating surrender monkeys...

What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
The army.

How can you recognise a French veteran?
Sunburned armpits

Why did the French give America the Statue of Liberty?
Because she has only one arm raised.

Why do the French get more votes in the U.N.?
They vote with both hands.

What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training?
How to surrender in at least ten languages.

Why does Nike like the French Army?
Because in wartime they are the biggest buyers of running shoes.

Not a very nice anniversary present from the English is it? They're just jealous France has Carla and they don't!

Kisses on both cheeks,
La Mom

(For the full article and joke list, click here.

Pump up the volume! Pump up the volume! Dance! Dance!

La Mom is definitely fashion forward and technology backward!

She finally figured out how to shuffle the Music Bar playlist! You can now sample a mix of great songs in English & French about Paris, love, kids, and Dr. Hot instead of listening to Frank Sinatra's "I Love Paris in the Springtime" over and over everytime you read La Mom. Enjoy!


Jennifer said...

What a list! Sun burnt armpits, eh? LOL!

A Gift Wrapped Life said...

I've been waiting all week for a good laugh! And this did usual you make me smile and chuckle. You have such a way with words! Tell me you drink a few glasses of wine before you write, no one can be this funny on their own. Always entertaining!

Suburban Stepmom said...

Oh my! your too funny.

vicki archer said...

A very good read LA mom, xv.

mary said...

I love it when someone makes me laugh out loud - thank you thank you

Kim said...

Great posts!! I've also had a share of interesting expat activities in Germany. I would LOVE to see a list of German inspired comic relief- I'm sure it would bring the LOL's!! Come on over and say hi at


SuZ said...

What is it about France and short men?

DolceDreams said...

Love your musique selection, merci!
Happy Mother's Day,

The Duchess said...

too funny! short certainly seems to work in france...

AfroCreoRican said...

I love the Music!

lunarossa said...

Love this post, la Mom! To tell the truth, I quite like Daddy but then maybe because I live in England! Great music btw. Ciao. A.


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