Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Cruising for a Bruising

Mommy Money Bags is at it again and there's no stopping her! She's been living high on the hog for so long that she's fallen out of touch with reality. Not everyone, including residents of the 16th arrondissement, has a bank account with at least eight zeroes in it and several others hidden in a tiny country famous for skiing, chocolate and luxury watches.

Last week, all the expat moms met for a night of Wine Clubbing at MMB's place. Before I start dishing, can I just say how I love the Wine Club? Here's why:

1/ We vent about our husbands, the kids, the French, Parisians, customer service

2/ We get to drink great wine and flirt with the handsome & devilish sommelier who says things like:

"Zees Côtes du Rhône has a good body like you Madame."
"Zees old Bordeaux has an intense bouquet of deep aromas zat get better with age, like women."
"Zees Sauterne tastes sweet, as you must Mesdames."

3/ We dish on the Park Monceau moms and Dr. Hot

4/ The Wine Clubbers provide great blog fodder (don't be mistaken - it looks like I'm on my BlackBerry sending my sister in the US an important email, but I'm really sending one to myself with the outrageous comments these women make)

Anyway, it's that time of year when everyone is making their summer vacation plans. Of course, MMB started yet another discussion about who's going where, with what staff, and for how long. Newly arrived Midwest Mom was on the receiving end of MMB's interrogation. It went like this:

MMB: So where's everyone going in July and August?

NYC Mom: We're in Cannes for 6 glorious weeks. I've got a nanny and an au-pair coming too. It'll be sooo relaxing.

Midwest Mom: We're taking the kids on a cruise for a week.

MMB: Only a week? Then you'll do something after that right?

Midwest Mom: Nothing's planned. Should we?

MMB: (Making a face to Malibu Mom) Nobody who lives in the 16th stays in Paris all summer. Only the poor do. It's sinful to stay in a polluted city crowded with tourists when you could be at the beach!

Midwest Mom: I was planning on taking the kids to Disneyland one day. We can do a fun activity every week - like visit the Eiffel Tower or Versailles.

MMB: You mean you're not going to stay at the Disney hotel so your kids can eat breakfast with the Disney cast?

Midwest Mom: No, we don't need to.

MMB: It sounds like you need to spend the summer looking for a country house to buy so you'll have a place to go next summer. I'll lend you mine in La Baule while I'm vacationing on Ile de Ré.

Midwest Mom: (Rolling her eyes at Miami Mom) Well, we just bought an apartment. That and a cruise is pretty much going to tap us out. Isn't that enough? Besides, who says I have to have a country house just because everyone else does?

Mommy Money Bags - cruising for a bruising!


Under the Influence said...

MMB has the right idea - if you've got it, spend it! However, there's no need to for her to exhibit so little class by being so obnoxious about it.

Good for Midwest Mommy for not being bullied by MMB.

Scandalous Housewife said...

The Scandalous Housewives have a multitude of sexy and devilish sommeliers, only ours have strong, Texas accents, and even stronger 25 year old abs...or so I suppose...

Dumbwit Tellher ♥ said...

Good for Midwest Mommy. Can't wait for more....I like someone that does not fold to pressure. Must be that midwest blood in me! Uffda...

Paris Atelier said...

I'm dying over here! You guys are better than the Real Housewives of New York show! To be a fly on the wall at one of those wine club meetings! I need a sommelier like that around here! Ohh la la!

Ali said...

Ooooh, I like that sommelier!

SuZ said...

I love Midwest Mom, she sounds like my kinda gal. :)

Julia@SometimesLucid said...

Good for Midwest Mommy. Do you think she will be beaten in to submission soon?

A Gift Wrapped Life said...

I would like to live in your neighborhood for 1 day (I speak for thousands of us, don't I?)and
I would tell MMB that being rich means you bring all your friends on holiday with you.....and then be ready and packed. LOL!

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

I actually had to stop and count out what 8 zeros would be. I think that says something about the number of zeros in my bank accounts.

Anonymous said...

Whew! [Fanning myself at the thought of the flirtatious sommelier.]

Having breakfast with the Disney cast sounds like my absolute worst nightmare.

Lara Nicholls South Africa said...

How I wish for eight zeros behind a couple of nines in my bank account... and that would be euros not ZAR rands! ha ha

mary said...

I tnink you- all should be a reality show - I want to SEE the sommelier. Thanks for the idea for my door - Ilove the fabric so much it would be fun to see more of it.

Alix said...

Hi la Mom,
Sounds like Midwest Mommy might be your next american "amie".
Next time one of my friends types on her blackberry while I'm talking, I would be thinking of you and what I just said !

Jennifer said...

Wow and wow. Most conversations I have with other mothers go something like this:

"How's he pooping? Are they loose?"

"No, still got the hard pebbles."

"Oh, darn. Hey, do you want to go to the movies sometime this week? We can have the $1 hotdogs again?"

"I can't this week. I've spent all I can. But maybe I can afford the $1 hotdog and a movie in two weeks...?"

Riff Dog said...

Oh jeeze. I know people like that too. ~sigh~


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