Friday, March 20, 2009
Pierre is the most popular little boy at the Parc Monceau.
All of his toddler pals want to play with him - just to be near her.
Their dads have suddenly taken up jogging at 4:30 in the afternoon - just to catch a glimpse of her at the sandbox after school is out.
And the DEMs (Desperate Expat Moms) are secretly taking fashion cues from her.
Who is she????
She's Pierre's STROLLER CANDY. As in, "Mommy is Daddy's arm candy, Nanny is my stroller candy."
Yep, Pierre has a new nanny and she is young, glossy, and gorgeous. The Dads stare at her as if she were a real piece of candy they'd like to eat.
And that's just the problem.
When the DEMs are hanging out at the sandbox, the Dads don't look at them with hunger in their eyes. And that makes the DEMs j-e-a-l-o-u-s. Only Seattle Mom had the guts to tell it like it is the other day:
Ohio Mom: Look at Stroller Candy play with Pierre. She sure is perky today. Why does she have to run around sticking out her chest like that?
Seattle Mom: Can't you just be nice for a minute?
Ohio Mom: Only a minute and not a second longer.
Seattle Mom: (In a joking, but slightly serious tone) You're just jealous. You hate the fact that you used to look like Stroller Candy and now you look like the women we all made fun of a decade ago when we were single. You're tired, frazzled, your shirt is dirty from your kids hanging on you, and you probably have mismatched bra & panties on to boot.
Montreal Mom: Ha! I bet we all have mismatched underwear on. Who has time to coordinate with kids? I'm too tired to care.
Seattle Mom: Stroller Candy does. That's why Ohio Mom's jealous. She's probably got the latest La Perla on under her clothes.
Ohio Mom: It's probably H&M.
Seattle Mom: Who cares what brand it is? She still looks better than we do.
What La Mom wants to know is - who's the mommy who hired Stroller Candy? Doesn't she remember Jude Law mixing it up with his nanny?
Some of the DEMs in my playgroup make it a habit to hire nannies who fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. It's not a bad policy to have when you live in Paris, especially if you have a French husband, don't you agree?
~By the way, merci Mommy In Pink
for giving me permission to use her blog picture!