Sunday, March 15, 2009

The Black Triangle


La Mom's been investigating her Mommy Maintenance options. Maintenance being the key word, because if I take the leap, I won't have to worry about maintaining any longer.

I'm talking about Black Triangle maintenance. Or rather, getting the minou line lasered so I'll never have to wax or shave again. Bliss!

Last week, I visited Dr. Laser to find out the timeframe for bikini hair removal, the cost, and what my hairstyle options are. Here's a snippet of our very confidential doctor/patient conversation:

Dr. Laser: I can safely say you're a candidate for laser hair removal.

La Mom: C'est super! I just hate showing up at Nikki Beach in St. Tropez with razor burn around the minou. I'm reduced to shaving on vacation. Do you know how hard it is to get a wax in St. Trop' in August?

Dr. Laser: I haven't had to worry about hair for the last 10 years.

La Mom: I'm sold! When can I start and what's on the minou menu? Can I get a Brazilian? Or a Metro Ticket?

(Sidebar: a "Metro Ticket" style looks like an actual metro ticket was shaved, waxed, or lasered vertically on your minou)

Dr. Laser: I suggest you go with a classic triangle. I just did one on my daughter, who's 20. There's nothing old fashioned about a classic T. It's timeless.

La Mom: Well I was really hoping for a Metro Ticket, but I see your point. I guess I don't want to be 75 and sporting a gray metro ticket along with a flabby belly and butt!

Then I burst out laughing at my (dumb)joke expecting Dr. Laser to laugh too.

She went pale. And stared at me. Speechless.

She was probably thinking, "Who the heck is this stupid American?"
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23 comments:

Under the Influence said...

In the US, we call the Metro Ticket a Landing Strip. I have a couple friends who have done the laser thing and they LOVE it!

Fiona said...

You crack me up!

Paris Atelier said...

OMG! Too funny! I vote for the Metro ticket! The triangle? What the? Don't let the minou hair doctor bully you! LOL!
xoxo
Judith~

Lara Nicholls said...

I love the fact that "Minou" sounds so respectable!

La Mom said...

@ Under the Influence-
LOVE Landing Strip! Never heard of that one. Guess I've been out of the country too long!

La Mom said...

@ Lara Nicholls,
Isn't minou just the cutest word? I love it when Small Fry sees a pussy cat on the street and screams, "Minou Minou!"

Scandalous Housewife said...

La Mom,
1st, You must know that Scandy has a PhD in bikini line maintenance, so let me advise. The laser hair removal is FANTASTIC, but it is NOT permanent. It takes a week or so after having what feels like tiny rubberbands being snapped at your twot, but the hair will be completely gone for weeks. But it comes back, albeit less. It takes multiple treatments for it to permanently go away, if you're lucky. And a triangle (small) is classic. Finally, from the words of my experienced Brazilian waxer in regards to women's bare nekkid va-jay-jay, "Once you turn tirty-fye (35), dat not pretty down dere no more". good luck!

vicki archer said...

Just reading these comments has had me smiling... minou, minou, too funny. xv

a H.I.T. said...

I vote Metro ticket (landing strip - same thing). Especially since Dr. Laser didn't find the inappropriate humor funny.

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

I hate all the work that goes into being a woman, I would love some laser action.

Pure Poser said...

i'd go with brazilian - but i guess thats a personal choice.

i think dr laser is suffering from humour malfunction! and stick with what you want!

...come to think of it, haven't seen any male comments yet. haha!

Kelli said...

I am sure you are going to be one happy camper when the process is done. Be sure to keep us up to date on the process... is there much pain involved?
I would love to not have to wax anymore!

SuZ said...

Ha... ha ha ha ha.

He he.

I soooooooooooo want to do this.

La Mom said...

@Scandy-
You crack me up and thanks for the advice. I thought the hair went away it just takes at least 5 or 6 sessions. How many did you do?

So I only have a few more months until my 36th bday and den it not perty down dere no more?

La Mom said...

@ Kelli,
I plan on reporting my adventures, stay tuned!

La Mom said...

@ Pure Poser,
Good point, how come there are no men commenting on this?

Monica said...

What will you do for the pain? I think I would need an epidural!

Dumbwit Tellher ♥ said...

I can always count on your blog for a good laugh. Can't wait for the follow up!

Scandalous Housewife's response was priceless..ha!

corine said...

But what if we go for laser but the fashion changes and the gorilla look becomes hip? Will we have to wear minou toupees?

La Mom said...

@Corine,

Hey, those things actually exist! The famed Crazy Horse dancers actually "wear" little minou toupées -- you know, for some modesty when they're otherwise in the buff.

How do I know this, you may ask? I went to the Crazy Horse ON A BUSINESS DINNER with Big Cheese and his colleagues! Another post for another time...

La Mom

Yours truly said...

This post made my day then I read the comments. Too cute!
(although I just turned 36...yikes!)

Peg and Don said...

OK... So you want a comment from a male, huh? Here you go:
1. Go with the Metro Ticket (I never heard of that before - Landing Strip, yes; Meto Ticket, no).
2. Pay no attention to Scandalous Housewife. I still think my wife's "va-jay-jay looks pretty down dere, even dough she's past tirty-fye (35)."
3. I agree with vicki about the comments and that minou minou is too funny!!! I didn't smile - I lol. So did my wife.

So how did I come across your blog? Somebody got to my blog via a google search on "cul de plombier." I read that post, then checked your current posts. Et, voila; je suis ici... And I decided to take the challenge to comment since no other males have. Thanks for the laugh this evening!

Dr. Rose Jeans said...

@Corine and LaMom,

There's even a name for a minou toupee: it's a merkin!

P.S. LaMom, love your blog. I'm giggling out loud reading it.

 

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