Sunday, March 15, 2009
La Mom's been investigating her Mommy Maintenance options. Maintenance being the key word, because if I take the leap, I won't have to worry about maintaining any longer.
I'm talking about Black Triangle maintenance. Or rather, getting the minou line lasered so I'll never have to wax or shave again. Bliss!
Last week, I visited Dr. Laser to find out the timeframe for bikini hair removal, the cost, and what my hairstyle options are. Here's a snippet of our very confidential doctor/patient conversation:
Dr. Laser: I can safely say you're a candidate for laser hair removal.
La Mom: C'est super! I just hate showing up at Nikki Beach in St. Tropez with razor burn around the minou. I'm reduced to shaving on vacation. Do you know how hard it is to get a wax in St. Trop' in August?
Dr. Laser: I haven't had to worry about hair for the last 10 years.
La Mom: I'm sold! When can I start and what's on the minou menu? Can I get a Brazilian? Or a Metro Ticket?
(Sidebar: a "Metro Ticket" style looks like an actual metro ticket was shaved, waxed, or lasered vertically on your minou)
Dr. Laser: I suggest you go with a classic triangle. I just did one on my daughter, who's 20. There's nothing old fashioned about a classic T. It's timeless.
La Mom: Well I was really hoping for a Metro Ticket, but I see your point. I guess I don't want to be 75 and sporting a gray metro ticket along with a flabby belly and butt!
Then I burst out laughing at my (dumb)joke expecting Dr. Laser to laugh too.
She went pale. And stared at me. Speechless.
She was probably thinking, "Who the heck is this stupid American?"