Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Love Bombed

Back in November, La Mom was snubbed by someone she thought was her friend. I bumped into Madame J at our local Monoprix store (Monoprix is France's equivalent to Target - although sadly, it's not even a close comparison).

La Mom: Hey! Madame J, it's been ages since I've seen you! How were your October holidays? Are you going back to the US for Thanksgiving?

Madame J: Oh, hi.

She looked at me like I was as stinky as French cheese and turned around and walked off!

Fast forward to December. La Mom is at the American Embassy's Christmas party enjoying Americana to the fullest: loud Texan accents, Peppermint Candy Cane & Peanut Butter Cup Hot Chocolate, Dr. Pepper Root Beer, Holiday Mincemeat Bars, Brownies...

(Sidebar: By the way, a big rodeo-size MERCI Y'ALL goes to Ambassador Stapelton and his wife (who happens to be a Walker, cousin to 43, as in George WALKER Bush - our President) for the fabuleuse fête you threw. I bet your cowboy hats you're gonna miss Paris when Obama takes over and appoints a new Ambassador!)

...when Madame J shows up at the party and proceeds to Love Bomb moi!

She couldn't stop touching my shoulder, patting my arm, hanging on every word I had to say all night! Suddenly, I had become the next best thing since sliced bread. For months, she had been giving me a bit of the cold shoulder, but the stinky cheese encounter at Monoprix left me speechless.

So why's she Love Bombing me? I can only come up with 3 reasons:

1/ My husband's cheese is bigger than her husband's cheese.

2/ A year ago I moved into an FOB (f*** off building) around the corner from her. The building is stately and gorgeous. Plus, we're on the top floor with a fab view of the Eiffel Tower. Jealous un petit peu?

3/ Her group of friends wants to include me in things they do. Does she think I'm stealing them? (I'm not). Is she jealous un petit peu? Maybe. But last time I checked, we weren't in high school anymore. Well actually, maybe we are. The expat Paris mommy track is a bit cliquish.

As I was nursing my Love Bomb injuries the next morning (sore shoulder, bruised arm), it occured to me that Madame J should have Love Bombed my kids instead. Then at least I would have had another reason to go back to the American Hospital in Paris to have the French Fries checked by my favorite pediatrician - Dr. Hot!
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14 comments:

Anonymous said...

FOB -- that's great! Now I know what to call my Parisian digs!

KimandCo said...

Sounds like Madame Jugs finally realized she was missing out on a cool friendship! Now blow her off. No, just kidding, really. I swear, I am just kidding.

Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

I don't think that just the expat Paris Mommies are cliquish. It feel like most groups of women start to be cliquish. I am so over the high school scene, too bad I can't seem to escape it!

Ali said...

Yum--now that's a party!

Dana said...

Hysterical! I didn't know there was such a thing as an FOB - I really must get out more. But, it makes perfect sense! LOL

I would so love to see a photo of Dr. Hot one day!

Kristy said...

LOL! That's great...I had a similar experience with an old friend right after college...Just jealous..great post!

Scandalous Housewife said...

I'm dreaming of an American Embassy in Paris Christmas....partay!
But I'm actually stuck in the REAL Texas with big haired/boobed Texas Beyotchs! I always play the nice, free spirit card with these types, but NEVER let them inside the Scand-a-licious mind...

Tess said...

Hi! I found your blog from MomBloggersClub. Love to read about a mom living in Paris! My mom was born there and I've been there to visit. Love it and hope that my kids get a chance to see it someday. I will be back. Im on Rate my Blog too. Please check out mine too. :)

Doré said...

snooty women... ughhh
She sounds a bit fake... probably a blessing she isn't involved in your life anymore!

My Castle in Spain said...

Amusing ! well...i know a mrs Jugs here too...
thank you for your comment and have a happy holiday!

Kristy said...

Merci..for the sweet comment about my daughter! Hope you have a nice Christmas!

Pamela said...

People are strange, I know a woman like that here..I have to say your life sounds glamorous..I will have to read your blog to escape my suburban american life!

Alberto Bryant IV said...

french frys are actually from belgium.
i like your blog.

Anonymous said...

you are complaining about her acting so high school, yet you come on here and brag and moan like a high school girl.

walk to higher road and quit being such a hypocrite.

with your status aren't their more important things in life to focus on?

 

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