Sunday, November 9, 2008

Oh Ex-Girlfriend, Where Art Thou?

In Paris.

On my street.

It hit me like a ton of briques the first time I walked past her in front of my apartment building. The beautiful, blonde, young 30-something, Parisian babe walking towards me was George Clooney's ex-girlfriend!

C'mon, you remember her, don't you? Her name is Celine. She's the French barmaid who George plucked from the Barfly restaurant about ten years ago and brought back to L.A. to live with him and his pig.

In Paris a barmaid one day, hitting the red carpet with the cutest actor in Hollywood the next day! Not bad for la petite parisienne!

Very bad for me though as I've become a stalker mommy.

My mission after spotting her was to figure out what building she was visiting and whether she lived there or if she was rendez-vousing with someone famous. I figured out which car she drove (a Smart) and I even peeked inside (spotless).

How sad is that?

But it got worse.

I was walking next to her with the French Fries one day (she was literally arm's length from me) and I said to Big Fry (in English and a bit louder than normal), "So are you excited to take the airplane to America tomorrow? We're going to visit Grandma in Malibu."

As I slyly looked at her from behind my sunglasses to see if it registered that we were going to her old haunt, she continued walking looking dazed and confused.
I am SO lame, je sais!

Once I knew which building she was visiting (the beautiful and very bourgeois one) I had to know who lived there. So I thought it would be easy to walk up to the front door and look at the names posted on the interphone. Well, not so easy. Either the concierge was polishing the door knobs or one of the couple of mommies from Big Fry's school who live in the building would be coming or going. I didn't want them to think I was a weird American mommy stalker (which of course I am).

So what's a stalker mom to do?

Well, I got my confidence together one day (helped by a very cute outfit, a blowout, and a shopping bag from Dior) and sauntered up to the door as if I lived there myself. I slowly read the names on the interphone and had the biggest let down because I thought I was on to a scoop and I was ready to call the French gossip mags (except they probably wouldn't have taken my call because George's ex is a Z-list celebrity in France)....

Her parents Monsieur & Madame live in the building!


Evolving Mommy Catherine said...

Ooh, your smooth. Have you thought about becoming a PI? ;)

Sherry said...

I know exactly who you're talking about and in fact was wondering what happened to her recently (I swear!). 'Cept I thought she was a schoolteacher. Thought I remembered hearing that once.

Stacey Crew said...

Entertaining as usual! Be careful out there, La Mom Stalker. :-)

La Mom said...

Dear Sherry,

Let me fill you in on Celine.

She was a schoolteacher after breaking up with George. Then she married an American and lived in LA for a few years after that.

Celine returned to France about 4 or 5 years ago (after divorcing) and was a guest on the dumbest French reality TV show called "The Celebrity Farm." Since then she's faded away. Maybe that's why she looks so dazed and confused when I see her.

And oui, it's pathetic I know all of this and it's because I read the likes of People magazine, US Weekly, Voici, and Gala. Très triste n'est-ce pas?

Kristy said...

LOL! That's hilarious! Very clever of you with Dior bag and all! I love it!

ali said...

Now you must convince your husband that you need to purchase a pair of Manolo Blahnik heels to continue your stalking!

Sree said...

hahaha what to do if they live with reasons to stalk ;)

Kristy said...

Oh've been tagged...see my blog for details!

Courtney said...

Very cute, intresting blog! (I found you on mom bloggers) If your intrested, im living in Japan, im a mom and my blog touches on alot of that and everything inbetween! I enjoy your blog alot! I am a "follower" =)

Doré said...

I just came across your blog. I will definitely be back...

This story was very funny! Sounds like something I would do, but I would probably screw it up BIG TIME!

Drama queens mum said...

You're so funny. It sounds like something that I would do.


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