Thursday, November 20, 2008
Remember that game Bulls**t Bingo? You know, the one you play in boring meetings where people throw around words like “synergy”? Back in the day when La Mom was La Career Femme, I introduced this game to my French colleagues, which translated surprisingly well.
Now that I’ve traded the boardroom for the jungle gym, I’ve made up a new game to play:
I don’t get stuck in dull-as-dishwater meetings anymore, but I do have to attend a lot of swanky soirées for Big Cheese’s work.
These events are always the same – couture cocktail dresses, a spectacular address (although I’m not complaining about the VIP treatment we received for Bastille Day as we watched the Eiffel Tower fireworks display from the terrace of the ultra-chic Musée de Quai Branly).
And last but not least, a bunch of uptight, snobby Parisienne mamans.
Why would I want to sabotage these Frenchwomen? Because they treat me like I’m a piece of furniture! Frenchwomen at parties only care about two things: their husbands and the circle of friends they’ve known since birth. The only way I could ever grab their attention is if I pretended to be hired help and passed them a caviar canapé.
So I've decided to hit them where it hurts.
Here are the rules:
1) Select a nice-looking Frenchman.
2) Ask him a question, preferably about politics or the state of the world economy (Frenchmen like their women smart).
3) Lightly touch his sleeve and flash that big American smile.
4) Totally ignore his wife.
5) Stand back and watch the smoke start spiraling out of her ears.
Amusez-vous bien! (Have fun!)