Friday, October 24, 2008

This Mamá is Muy Caliente

How does the hot Spanish mom at the Park Monceau look consistently fabulous with two kids under three?

I'll admit it, when I see her at school every morning at 8am looking serene, beautiful, and totally put together, I always ask myself how the heck she manages to look so perfect and get the kids ready and out the door by 8am? It's something I can rarely do myself. seems her nanny had diarrhea of the mouth the other day and let it slip to my friend's nanny, who told my friend, who told moi her little secret.

I may have to take a few notes.

Hot Spanish Mom, who I'll call Alicia Consuela Barcelona, has her nanny live with them in a chambre de bonne, or a shoebox size apartment on the top floor of her apartment building. ACB makes her start work at 6am. Why? It's actually very cleverly thought out.

Alicia Consuela Barcelona starts her day at 6:30am and claims that her kids stress her out in the morning. She doesn't want to deal with them in case they wake up early or even when they wake up on time so the nanny is on-call from 6am so ACB can focus on herself.

If the kids don't wake up before 7, the nanny irons. Then at 7am she gets the kids dressed and ready for the day. She feeds them breakfast, grooms them, etc. while ACB does yoga in her bedroom for 45 minutes then showers and applies a ton of makeup to make it look like she's not made up at all. In fact, the kids and nanny don't see Mamá until she's ready to take them to school.

At 8am ACB is out the door and on the way to school looking like she's super-Mamá and a supermodel. She makes small talk with the other moms at school. Here's what she told us today:

  • "Javier didn't want to eat his breakfast and had a tantrum. He is sooo difficult right now." (Yeah right, apparently you don't deal with tantrums while doing the Downward Dog).
  • "Tia threw up all over the Persian rug. I barely had time to clean it up and get to school on time." (Truth is you left the baby throw up for the nanny to clean up).

And how did she get her tummy so toned three months after giving birth? Well, she spends her mornings at the Power Plate boutique.

(Sidebar: I can't really make fun of this. In fact, I'm jealous. Maybe I should give the Power Plate a try to get rid of my spare tire. It'll take a lot less time and give me faster results than jogging around the Park Monceau).

Why does ACB's hair always look so incredible? Because she never does it herself (even though she tells us moms at the park that she curls her own hair). She goes to the coiffeur for a style twice a week. I knew something was fishy!

So now I know Alicia Consuela Barcelona's secrets and it makes me feel better about not looking so great every day at 8am. I live a real life and take care of my kids - tantrums, baby barf, and eveything else.

Olé Olé!


ali said...

HaHa! When I drop my son off at school in the morning I just hope I don't have to get out of the van--sweats and Uggs on the bottom half, clean shirt, makeup, and combed hair on the top half:)

Sree said...

lol that was hilarious.

Yes,living it 'real'is so much better and fulfilling.


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