If I could send a love letter to IKEA, here's what I'd write:
My Dearest IKEA,
Merci! Merci! You've kept me sane this week. It's been one of the most difficult weeks in recent history dealing with the French Fries. First, they were sick for two days. Then today, Big & Small Fry cried all morning before school and on the way to school. Imagine dragging Big Fry to school while he screams, "School isn't fun, I hate the cafeteria..." and having all the parents stare at you in the courtyard. Of course, Small Fry freaks out at least ten times a day because she's two and therefore in the middle of temper tantrum season. Then my apartment cleaner called in sick this morning. Last, but not least, my scale says I've gained two pounds! Oh la la.
You have kept me sane, IKEA, because this whole week I've been doing nothing but focusing on our little rendez-vous planned for Saturday morning. I can't wait to hop into the Range Rover (all by myself!!) at 9am, blast the music, and arrive chez toi at 9:45am for your very hearty 1 EURO breakfast. I plan on reading the paper (something I never get to do at home) and sipping café au lait while munching on a pain au chocolat and a baguette covered in jam. Maybe eating this isn't the best idea if I want to lose the two pounds I just gained!
Then I will shop till I drop, and when I drop, I won't go home to reality, I will go back to the IKEA café and hang out for another hour and read my book while I eat lunch. Then, maybe, I'll entertain the thought of going home.
It's been one of those weeks. A big merci for helping me get through it. I couldn't have done it with out you!
Love and bisous,
You know you're at a low point when you get your kicks out of a mommy playdate at IKEA.